Oh Ye Oh Ye! What a Merry Christmas this promises to be!

Hi there strangers! (who is the strangest one here - I vote for ME!)
So I haven't been a-blogging for a while, because I'm too busy, but I'm not going to waste time making excuses on my own page for not blogging, because SERIOUSLY!
Instead I will be lamenting this past year.
Last night I ree-organised my photos and happened upon last New Year's photos from Rustlers Valley. It seems appropriate that I start my lament there.
When we went to Rustlers, I met Melody.. Mr Taurus' cousin, and I instantly fell in love with her (in a non-lesbian way). I knew when I met her that it was the Universe that brought us two super-powers toghether. We became the very best of friends. The holiday ended with Mr Taurus telling me that he does not want to be in a relationship at this point in him life.. which i understood completely (being myself a pathological commitment phobe) and assured him that I was fine with that. I wasn't really, since I really do love him very much. It's the kind of Love that does not expect anything from the other, but that that Love is returned. There were no rules, nou boundries and no limitations to my Love. Maybe that scared him. Or maybe he was unaware of my true feelings, since I lied about it in order to assure him that I would be ok. I know now that that was to my own detriment.
Since then, I tried many times to get over him.. but those feelings not only remained.. I believe that they became stronger.
But nevermind that.
So, the year started off with a bang.. (i'm so funny sometimes!) and back I went to a job that was draining all the life from me.. but atleast I could pay my own rent.
I jumped off a cliff when we went Gorge Jumping for my friend Dandilion's birthday and it was by far the most exciting thing that I have ever done.
The company where I was working closed and I had to find a new job FAST! At least I had managed to finish my degree by this time, so I quickly got a job at a magazine. Things went well..ish. It was really great very challenging. I got to write some of the reviews and even did some research of my own into articles. I wrote one.. which went into the archives..silencing my attempts to raise awareness about E-waste.
A nobel cause!
I went to Sun City with a friend and had a wild old time. So wild infact, that I made a lot of mistakes that i would later pay for. Such is the law.
I went to Oppikoppie for the 1st time and my life and had such a freakin good time that I will forever be going, from now on.
mmm.. Then my internship ended at the magazine and they wouldn't give me a contract because I didn't have my own car.. which kindof sucks, but nevermind that. I found a job temping and have been doing that ever since..
In the meantime, I graduated from Varsity - which I NEVER thought would happen..
I was robbed a couple of times - losing my cellphone and the last time my beloved laptop..
A couple of times the Ocean claimed my phones.. She's always been kindof a bitch to me, but i think we understand eachother now.. So now I am on my 5th Cellphone for the year, 2nd laptop and 3rd job. Quite eventful. I saw the Lion King, I saw the Grimm Faery Tales, and went to the 46664 concert!!!
I've met really interesting people and have said goodbey to a few as well. Life has actually been good, considering that it could have been worse and that I still have my sanity (debatable).
Though it has been tough going, 2007 has not been that unkind when I think about it.
I did manage to tell Mr Taurus that I love him, and I now know that he loves me too. Nothing has really changed, but then I wasn't expecting it to. Because I'm chickenshit, I wonder if he really understands exactly HOW MUCH I love him, but that seems irrelevant now. At least I am loved in return, and that's all that matters.
I'm doing Yoga again and that has made me so happy! I'm learning Poi, so that is also adding to my happiness AND I bought a Levi Jean, which makes my butt look hot and that makes me very happy. I love my current boss and I'm sure she and I will be friends for the rest of our lives.
I am grateful for my health and for my good fortune to have had a wonderful education. I am thankful for my wonderful family and my super amazing friends.
They make me a better person. I am grateful that I have so much Love in my life and that there is Hope in the world.
This New Years, I will be spending with Mr Taurus in Capetown.. a very similiar situation than last year, except I am much more confident and relaxed about the whole thing. I cannot wait for the clocks to be ree-set and for a whole new life to begin. Who knows, hopefully I will even have a new job in the New Year!!!
I wish you all a very happy Chistmas and New Year, and i pray that we will all remember that regardless of your religion, Chrismas is about unconditional Love. May we all experience a Love that forgiving and graceful. Peace be the journey! And remember kids! SAVE OUR CLIMATE!

A quicky to satisfy my audience..

It's been a while since you've heard from me, my faithful subjects!
My life has changed over and over again in the last couple of months, which is good, because change is good. These changes have been significant and i'm sure that they will turn out to have been for the best. I'm trying positivity. The law of attraction. Oh, one exciting thing that happened is that I have graduated! Yay me!
Anyway, so I'm working now, trying to pay the rent and cover the basics, so while things are quite hectic, it's also rather uneventful, except for the aforementioned incidences that is known only to those involved in my daily existance. Uuhhmm.. and I've become totally addicted to facebook. That's pretty much my life... but do not despair loyal bloggers! Your Queen will never abandon you! I shall return! this time, with something to say. Peace be da journey!!!

Fear of Failure

Last year about this time, I had a nervous breakdown. I've come a long way since then, but I haven't really gotten over my fear of failure. I'm afraid of disappointing everyone..
Anyway, so lets hope that my freaking out about how this last exam went down, is just me freaking out, and not me failing the exam.
And if I passed, then I will be a graduate, and THEN what?

What? Where? How? Who? When? Why? What? Where? How? Who? When? Why? What? Where? How? Who? When? Why? What? Where? How? Who? When? Why? What? Where? How? Who? When? Why? What? Where? How? Who? When? Why? What? Where? How? Who? When? Why? What? Where? How? Who? When? Why? What? Where? How? Who? When? Why? What? Where? How? Who? When? Why?

It's a strange strange world we live in, Master Jack (Daniels).

So I'm sitting on my balcony, minding my own business (reading Jitterbug Perfume by Tom Robbins), when I hear someone screaming and swearing loudly.
I look down from the 4th floor and see this guy that lives in nr 15 storm out (he was the one yelling and swearing) screaming over and over again of how tired the was of these (insert f-word) people. Bad mojo was following this guy around, you could spot that a mile away. He was very angry as he got into his big and shiny BMW, slamming the door, the brakes screeching. He pulled his car into the parking lot only closer to the No Parking sign (inside a bush) got out of his car, slammed the door.
He then tried to rip out the sign from the bush and didn't manage it. He swore loudly once again and stormed back to his car, slammed the door and screeched off - only to return 10 mins later (with rope), swung his car around, slammed the door, tied the rope around the sign, got in his car, slammed the door and ripped the sign out with his car. All the while screaming how sick he was of these (insert f-word) people.

I still don't know which people.. He also deposited the now deceased sign into the Care-taker's parking spot. She later told me that apparently he had scratched his car against the sign, and that that was why he had taken his (rather significant) anger out on the poor sign. Correct me if I am wrong, but the sign (having been inside the bush) could not have scratched his car unless he had driven into the bush... right?

Weirdness... anyway, so I took down his license plate number and am now a witness.. Go me.

New horizons?

Well, it's taken forever (quite literally) but I am finally in full view of the end of my studies.

This week I still have a mini-test, a huge test and a project due on Friday, and there-after, only the exam on the 06/06/07. A higher evil?
Then (if all goes according to plan) I graduate! Finally! After five long years of blood, sweat and many tears, I - Queen Ree - will be a graduate! Whoo-hooo! And you had better believe that there will be a HUGE party to mark this prestigious event.

That, and I have a job interview on Friday, which will hopefully open up many more doors for me. With the end of an era so close that I can smell it, there are a lot of things to be done before I can wip out the champagne.

All we have is Time

Haven't posted in a while, so I thought I would just give an update.
Life is decidedly proceeding from day to day... nothing new really. I have started to watch "Heroes" and am enjoying it very much. It's so cool and intriguing and has many hotties to perve over..
Enough of that..I am anxiously awaiting some more Desperate Housewives and Grey's Anatomy episodes.

I'm suppose to be studying for my Semester test, but am very sick (caught the office flu) and will probably have to write the sick test.
I finished my Learning programme and am anxiously awaiting feedback.. I must admit that in my hurry to finish it, i might have rushed it a bit.

What else can I tell you.. uhmmm.. OH! I'm reading "Anansi Boys" by Neil Gaiman and am loving every word! If I didn't have to go to work or study, I would never put it down.

Time is one of those infuriatingly unpredictable things. When you want it to pass quickly, it drags at an excruciatingly slow pace, but when you need it to drag, it speeds up like that little Mexican rodent Speedy Gonzales.
In Michael Ende's book "Momo", there are such things as Time-thieves: Gray men who go about conning people into investing their Time into a Timebank - thus leaving some spare time left over when you need it the most. The trick is apparently not to waste time. Unfortunately, it is all just an elaborate ploy to steal the Time and feed on it. Like Vampires. I wonder if that could ever happen?

Running towards...

It has been quite a ride since the last time I wrote. No doubt you were all getting impatient to learn what had happened with the rather substantial amount of work that I had to do.
Well.. the long weekend was the perfect opportunity for one to catch up, but it's also a terrible waste to work all the time and not enjoy the rare opportunity to hang with ones friends.. I did do a lot of work this weekend, but by Sunday I had had enough of being indoors and desperately craved a communion with mother nature.
After I had finally managed to leave my flat, I felt much better. Cabin fever does weird things to people..
Anyway, I was force-fed Sushi and my fortune cookie said:
Don't follow a path. Go in your own direction and leave a trail.
I loved that. It means that all of my problems can be solved simply by changing my perspective and trying something unconventional.

So now its back to work and wonder above wonder - it's still there! I have projects and tests and and and, as well as a demanding job and attention requiring/deserving friends.
How will I find the time? By being magical, mystical and mysterious.. and doing it all at the same time, regardless of the ever-threatening possibility of failure.
The fear of failure should never be an excuse not to do it anyway.

Whoops! Gotta GO!

Don't really know what to make of this..

What Famous Leader Are You?
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Global Personality Test Results

Stability (33%) moderately low which suggests you are worrying, insecure, emotional, and anxious. Orderliness (46%) medium which suggests you are moderately organized, hard working, and reliable while still remaining flexible, efficient, and fun. Extraversion (73%) high which suggests you are overly talkative, outgoing, sociable and interacting at the expense too often of developing your own individual interests and internally based identity.

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Freudian Inventory Results

Oral (53%) you appear to have a good balance of independence and interdependence knowing when to accept help and when to do things on your own. Anal (46%) you appear to have a good balance of self control and spontaneity, order and chaos, variety and selectivity. Phallic (56%) you appear to have a good balance of sexual awareness and sexual composure. Latency (43%) you appear to have a good balance of abstract knowledge seeking and practicality, dealing with real world responsibilities while still cultivating your abstract and creative faculties and interests. Genital (56%) you appear to be somewhere between a progressive/openminded and regressive/closeminded outlook on life.

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Locus of Control Test Results

Internal Locus (36%) Individual believes that their life is defined more by their decisions and internal drive. External Locus (64%) Individual believes that their life is defined more by genetics, environment, fate, or other external factors.

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Personality Disorder Test Results Paranoid |||||||||||||||| 66% Schizoid |||||||||||||| 54% Schizotypal |||||||||||||||||| 74% Antisocial |||||||||||| 46% Borderline |||||||||||||||||| 74% Histrionic |||||||||||||||| 66% Narcissistic |||||||||||||| 54% Avoidant |||||||||||| 50% Dependent |||||||||||| 42% Obsessive-Compulsive |||||||||||||||| 62%

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Indie Personality Test Results

59% Indie Scoring highly suggests you are likely to be very liberal, independent minded, self identify as an outsider, shun materialism and popular culture, and have an aversion to organized religion. While high scorers are more intellectual than average, they are probably more artistically astute than intellectually avante guard (i.e. they are more likely to know of new interesting new bands/artists/writers than the best way to extract energy from a hydrogen atom. Low scorers, will generally tend towards the opposite of the above. They will tend to be more materialistic, conservative, corporate friendly, social and are more likely to be religious.

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Cerebral Personality Test Results

56% Cerebral Scoring highly suggests you are likely to be very inquisitive, exploring, scientific, contemplative, self-examining, and philosophical. Low scorers, will generally tend towards the opposite of the above. They will tend to be more conventional, less curious and analytical, less focused on the big picture / global variables, and more comfortable identifying as part of maintream culture.

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Career Inventory Test Results Extroversion ||||||||||||||||||||| 66% Emotional Stability |||||||||||| 40% Orderliness ||||||||||||||| 50% Altruism |||||||||||||||||| 56% Inquisitiveness |||||||||||||||||| 60% You are an Inspirer, possible professions include - conference planner, speech pathologist, HR development trainer, ombudsman, clergy, journalist, newscaster, career counselor, housing director, character actor, marketing consultant, musician/composer, artist, information-graphics designer, human resource manager, merchandise planner, advertising account manager, dietitian/nutritionist, speech pathologist, massage therapist, editor/art director.

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Lessons learned, experience gained.

What a weekend its been. I had a really tough time.. nothing that in the end , could not be handled though.
The production went really well. There was a hick-up here and there, but on the whole, it went rather smoothly. We had a wonderful team, who each excel in what they do. People enjoyed the shoe very much and had some interesting suggestions for next time. And yes, there will be a next time.
The Gallery also went really well - it looked amazing thanks to Harry for the wonderful job that he did there and the artists who are intimidatingly talented.
There was a situation, where a lot of money was missing, and I was frantically running around trying to find it, hoping against all odds that was not stolen, but realizing that that was probably what had happened. I was so freaked out - i don't have money to replace the missing money!!! So, there I was, running around like a crazy, when I get a call that the money had been found - that my Cosmic Cousin had had it all along, for safe keeping. I was so relieved, but still very freaked out. Running back to front of house, I hugged my CC and looked in the box.
The money was gone! It turns out that someone's Dad decided to pull a stupid prank on us: he hid it to make us think that the money was really gone this time. They let us go on freaking out for 20mins before they came clean about it, and I didn't think it was so very funny. In fact, I thought it was seriously fucked-up and cruel! When I thought that the money had really disappeared, I aged 10 years right there., on the spot. I wouldn't be surprised to find gray hairs on my head after this...
I am actually still in shock. i don't think I will ever speak to this persons' Dad again. He is an adult and Psychologist. He should have had better judgment!

Anyway, were that the only thing that flipped out, it would still have been fine.
My first catalogue/programme publication was a tragedy. I blame bad planning.
And yes, it was all my fault. I neglected to start the process early enough to hound people for content and for me to have enough time to check the proofs when it came back from the designer/printer. As it was, I received the finished catalogues 20mins before the show.
BAD REE!
The result was that there were a lot of type-o's, and important information was cut out. I was so upset over that. It was my fault for not checking - I'm a bad publisher- but to be fair, it was my first time. And the type-o's were sooooooooooooo funny. I'll never live that down!
I decided that rather than freaking out about something that is too late to change now, I am just going to accept it and take the lessons I have learned with me. It's done. There are only a few of them anyway, so they are collectors items now.
One day, when I am rich, famous and a lot more powerful, those first publications are going to be worth a lot of money. And they look amazing - at least they're real pretty!
If you want a limited edition first Queen Ree publication that can be used to make fun of me in the future, we still have some left. It's really funny!

As i've already said, I have learned a lot about this sort of thing and as an incredibly wise person told me: there are no such things as flops, as long as you can learn something from them.

I am going to need a break before I can do the next one.... I just need to catch my breath!

I am Superwoman in training!

I am so excited! I am now OFFICIALLY a Publisher. I have just completed my first publication (our limited edition Gallery of Distorted Art catalogue/programme) and it looks.. in a word.. AMAZING! I am floating on air with joy! The print-run is only 100 copies, but the point is that I now get to call myself a Publisher with pride - no longer do I have an empty Publication portfolio! YEAH!!!

www.galleryofdistortedart.blogspot.com

Ofcourse, I had an amazing team behind me, so Guys and girl, YOU ROCK!!!
How fortunate I was to have met such amazing people who are so dedicated to art.

Speaking of art, here's an interesting bit of an article!

http://scienceblogs.com/omnibrain/2007/04/the_impact_of_failing_vision_o.php?utm_source=sbhomepage&utm_medium=link&utm_content=sublink

And now for something completely different: Halloween 2006 with Pandemonia, Misty and OhKyle!


To everyone who can make it to my Exhibition/Show, it's gonna blow your mind! Do enjoy!
Thanks to Queen Shakira (Queen Lestat) for blatantly spamming everyone about the show, and also to everyone else who did the same. I love you all forever!

yours,

The Queen.

Easter Madness

As I boarded the bright Orange airplane that was to carry me home to Ballito, I reflected fondly on the many memories that I’ve already made there:

Christmas on the sundeck – Christmas after party in the hot tub; every party I’ve ever attended at my uncle’s house; girls night with my mom, cousin and aunt; almost drowning with Harry - two Easters ago; New Years beach parties that inevitably get too rough even for me; Moonlit nights on the beach with someone special – dreaming about what the future holds; sitting on a rock – staring at the Ocean – daring Her to come get me if she had the guts! Maybe that was a mistake. Especially since Ballito is right in the proverbial line of fire. Global warming is a bitch. After seeing the beaches post-springtide, I am more convinced than ever that too much harm has already been done.

All the memories on those beaches, and now I can’t event really gain access to them any more – you get fined for attempting it.

I remember a weird thing. Several years ago, I was living in Germany, and met a young British soldier named Danny. Danny and I took an almost instant liking to each other. I was all alone in a strange country, far far away from home and could not yet utter a recognisable word in German, nor could I understand anyone around me. English is not big there. That’s how I ended up meeting Danny. The soldiers were English and I needed friends. He and his friends teased me because my Post-Colonial South African English was much better than their British mumblings. Go figure. We started going out and for a couple of weeks it was bliss. I had never really had a boyfriend before – and not really since then (too full of shit).

Too make a long story short, it all ended rather abruptly. I had just been placed in another city and had to leave the next day. I went to look for Danny, to say goodbye. When we parted… I promised to write – and I did – but never mailed the letters. I kept them in a drawer and eventually tore them up and threw them away. I went on with my life and embraced it fully. I never heard from him again. I guess he might have been sent to Afghanistan or Iraq or someplace like that. Maybe he never returned.. Who knows? I don’t even remember what he looked like. I just remember his name.

Memory is like that. We hear a song, catch a whiff of a familiar smell or touch something that brings back a flood of memories. Sometimes memories just jump into your head randomly, and you have no idea what had just happened. I hope that I will be given a chance to make new memories in Ballito – ones that are just as extra-ordinary as the ones that the Indian Ocean had tried to wash away. I’m certain there will be many more moonlit nights. I also hope that I will get to know that feeling again. The one where someone adores me and tells me that they need only me in order to be really happy. Someone who can read my thoughts, who will know my true feelings without me having to say a single word, someone who will know all of these things immediately, just by noting the expression on my face. I can’t have blown my only shot yet; I was too young, ignorant and proud to truly appreciate it for what it was. There has got to be more of that on the way. More moonlit nights, more hand-holding, more passionate kissing, more knowing glances, more teasing, more drinking wine on the beach and dreaming about tomorrow. I hope to God that there is a tomorrow for all of these things to happen in. And I hope that wherever ghostly Danny is, that he is happy. Ok, that’s enough of that yucky love stuff!

I adore the East Coast. It is breathtakingly beautiful. It’s got the unruly and vicious yet disarmingly stunning ocean, the magnificent grass ocean; the hills; the swamps; the jungles; the soft, white sands; the cooling, fragrant breeze; the easy going nature of the people; the sunsets; driving in a car sightseeing; discovering new pieces of paradise; sunsets and perhaps even the sunrises (I must confess that I am rarely awake to see the sunrise) and the open-air.

So I decide to disregard the vicious assault that the Ocean had made on my home town and to embrace it anyway. I decide to go in search of an open beach, just to wet my feet. (You’ve gotta wet your feet, right?)

So off I go to wet my feet, find the only remaining “open to the public” beach and arrogantly stepped out of my shoes to (say it with me) wet my feet. Man, I had not been standing there for more than 3 seconds, when this huge mother of a wave comes along, sweeps me off my feet and tumbles me around a couple of times. Picture me, feet in the air, skirt up to my shoulders, stumbling around, trying to get a foot hold.

I nearly died laughing at the amazing irony. It was then that I realised that I had had my bag around me and that said bag was now a fishbowl. Yup, with my brand new Samsung D900 floating merrily inside. Goodbey D900! It’s been a hell of a 2 weeks!

I suppose it was my arrogance that did it. Please some one, remind me to tell you all the story about ‘The Ocean and I’ one day. It’s quite a good story. I guess that things like this happen to bring us back down to Earth, before it gets out of hand. Clearly, I was not ready for yuppy-scumhood.

The rest of the holiday, I spent driving in a car with a boy, sightseeing and enjoying the natural splendor that is Ballito, running to the shops, attempting to watch anime and listening to music. And sleeping. Sleeping soundly, like a baby! Oh Bliss!

By the time that I got back onto the Orange airplane and Mango Experienced my way back to Jozi, I was so incredibly relaxed as I haven’t been in years. Also… kinda sad to leave… Reluctant to leave Paradise behind….

When I reached Joburg, I met my Cosmic Cousin Mel D and we went to this function in Melrose Arch where I made eye contact with the SUPER FABULOUS Deon Chang! Wheeeeee!

Then we went out for a lovely dinner and went home after listening to some fine tunes. It was wonderful to be home again, even though I already miss everyone down at the coast. All that’s left now is to go back to the normal everyday work and play of, what I affectionately refer to as, my crazy life. Never a dull moment.

And hey! I’ve got an exhibition to plan and host, so I’d better get to work!

Diary of a Procrastinatrix

Friday night. I should be studying, but I figure I still have the whole weekend to that. I don’t want to burn out now, do I?

So instead I have dinner at my Ho Momo’s house and over a generous helping of the most decadent Chocolate Salami and Apple Strudel, and lament on the Violet Piking who has evaded me now so faithfully for so many months. This of course, led to an even more much too often repeated story of how much I need to get laid. I really think I need help.

We were watching Sex in the City, and Momo was saying how much he is like a twisted cross between Carry and Miranda, and I remarked that I was a lot like Charlotte, with a lot of Samantha mixed in to form an intriguing yet hazardous combination. This discussion, suddenly brought back to my mind, the many T.V. characters I have either identified a lot with, or that others have said I resembled a lot in character and disposition. Here is a short list. I’ve been called Ally McBeal; Bridget Jones; the entire cast of Desperate Housewives (especially Bree); Dharma; Phoebie from friends; Grace of Will and Grace; Summer of The OC; Brenda in Six Feet Under and Meredith of Grey's Anatomy. Oh, and also Candace Bergen’s character in Boston Legal. A curios bunch of women...

Saturday. I’ve studied all morning and around late afternoon I decided to find out what my urban family are doing. Interestingly enough, they are just planning a quiet evening and I, desperately in need of a quiet evening, invite myself over and we decide to get wine. You can’t stay in and not have wine! Plus, I’ve been studying so hard, I deserve a break! We end up watching that movie Pulse and I’m scared shitless – cause I’m a weenie. I end up sleeping on their couch, only to wake up the next morning, knowing full well that I should be at home, studying. I stay until after afternoon coffee. In my own defence, let me just say that I really did study when I got home.

Sunday. I’m cooking. I never have time to cook anymore, and this seemed like an excellent opportunity to do so. I know, I am the Queen of procrastination, but I’ve already studied some, I’m just making sure I have time to process all of this information, and a girl’s got to eat, right? Some baked vegetables on pasta, brain food!

Sundays I usually reserve for melancholy reflection on my life and remembering all the wonderful times with people I love. I usually get quite lonely, and inevitably reach for my phone. Are you familiar with the saying: a hundred contacts but none you can dial? I feel like a loser wanting to surround herself by people so that she doesn’t have to think about how alone she is. I also don’t want to phone someone up and pile all of my neuroses on them – I’d rather be alone for that – it’s frightfully unattractive! Maybe I should stay away from Jack Johnson for a while…

Today was nice though. I started it surrounded by loved ones and now I’m supposedly too busy studying. Right. That’s why I’m typing instead of reading scientific journals. This is not me complaining. I’ve got it really good! I suppose spending so much time with couples would make any person feel kind of.. outnumbered. I’m an odd-number. Truth be told, even-numbers have always made me nervous. I like the numbers 3; 5 and 7. I distrust the numbers 1; 2; 4; 6 and 9. 10’s are good, and I adore 8’s, but that’s about it. Ok, I’ve just realised how crazy that sounds and also that I should be reading scientific journals, not going on about my irrational numbers-thing. Let’s try reading for a bit! .. I wonder if it will rain tonight…

Monday. I didn’t rain. If it did, I was unconscious, so - it didn’t happen. I spent the whole day studying… I keep telling myself that this isn’t like last year, when the pressure was on the success of the single test. This time at least, I’ll get other chances, so there’s no reason to give myself a panic attack. I’ve got such a huge pile of other things to do though, I have to finish the Goda poster, go see an artist who wants to exhibit with us, I have a million things to do when I get back to the office on Wednesday, plus I need to get started with that learning programme that I need to write. Anyway, stop fretting about what needs to be done and focus on the matter at hand – i.e. studying for my very important semester test.

I go to yoga and find that I have very little energy. I also find it very hard to let go and relax, but I guess that after Tuesday evening I will be a whole lot more relaxed.

I get home and have the long awaited emotional meltdown. People said that I should expect one after yoga, but I didn’t believe them. I didn’t believe them about the toxins leaving my body painfully, and that certainly happened, so I should have expected this. Emotional toxins need to come out as well, and since I’ve been under so much stress lately (the last 3 years), there was plenty of material for it to feed on.

Oh sweet sleep, I surrender myself to thee!

Tuesday morning. I wake up feeling refreshed and much better than yesterday. I’m also in no small amount of pain, but I’m used to yoga-aftermath. I look forward to a day of fun filled studying, topped off with a delectable semester test this evening. Better get to it. I hope it doesn’t rain on my hair when I walk to campus later…

Tuesday evening. As I was brushing my teeth before bed and reflecting on my day, I found myself making a few wishes. I wished that this damn Colgate Herbal would finish already, so that I could get a better-tasting toothpaste. I wished that I had studied a little more or had started earlier. And finally, I wished that I hadn’t taken so many chill pills before the test. I had been taking such good care of myself throughout the day.. I made sure that I got all of my vitamins in; I ate regularly to avoid low blood sugar; I drank 2 litres of water; I drank some camomile tea, brain-fuel tablets, Pharmaton fizzy; headache tablets and some mild sedatives (fear-of-experiencing-anxiety); I made sure that I was dressed warmly and paced myself the entire day – careful not to overload my brain and tire it out. I even managed to squeeze in a coffee with some old friends, before I went off to study some more. It was at this point that I decided to take some more sedatives, only two hours after I had taken the last ones.. and off I went to write my test. The test itself went… ok-ish. There were no unfamiliar concepts and I had rambled on enough to at least get me very close to passing! Then I went for a walk around campus, enjoying the solitude and the gardens and structures so much. They really made it nice for pedestrians.. So many trees and prettiness all around. The evening is so nice and cool and quiet! Anyway, so Harry and I finished the poster over copious amounts of coffee and I wondered if I shouldn’t take some headache tablets – but decided against it. I’m beginning to spot a trend here, and I want to nip it before it gets out of hand!

So now, all that’s left for me to do is to go and sleep off this buzz, if I can fall asleep with all this Caffeine in me. Perhaps a sleeping tablet? Just kidding!

No, I think I’ll be fine. It has just started to rain again.. you really can’t complain about the weather we’ve been having! - Except if you live around the coast or in Madagascar…

I see trees of green.....

What are we doing to this world?

In Brazil they have started to use sugar cane fuel in order to 'be kinder to the environment'.
Now this seems like a wonderful idea at first, because fossil fuel is very harmful to the environment and is going run out anyway.
The problem comes in that now there is a demand for sugar cane fuel, the amazon rain forest is being demolished and burnt down in order to fill the demand.
Doesn't that sort of defeat the purpose?
Don't they realise that they are only making things worse?
When is the human race going to learn that we are responsible for this devastation of our beautiful planet? When it's too late, that's when. In that way, we shall return to the nothing form whence we came, and it all will be lost.
I accept that there needs to be balance. I accept that the cycle of life and death has to complete itself , but why am I hearing more and more excuses and half-brain solutions than alternatives or real, sustainable solutions.
The earth is at war with us, its parasites.
Storms are getting worse!

uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

Ok, so I haven't blogged lately and I do apologize to the more fanatical of my fans. Yes you!
I've just been really busy, you know?
What with studying; going on courses; going to work every day; going to yoga;... It seems like I'm always going somewhere, but the question is whether I'm actually getting anywhere. I don't know. I'm happy, I know that much. Being busy has the added advantage that I don't have time to drive myself crazy.
I think i just need an adventure. Although, who the hell has time for adventure, I've got deadlines!

And now for something completely different: a picture of Jared Leto

If that failed to distract you, I don't know how else to make up for my boringness, other than to reflect once again on how much I miss being able to walk naked around the house... sigh.

Oh well, maybe I will miraculously become more interesting as the day progresses.
If not, I can always count on Tribecca's Chocolate Martini.

Hot Anime Boys.

Now, I know this might sound weird. For as long as I can remember, I have had an unhealthy obsession with animated characters. Like, sometimes I would have dreams about them and in these dreams, I would be animated as well. Or I would dream that they came to life. I don’t really know if many other people experience the same thing, so I have compiled a list of the hottest anime characters that I could think of right away. See if you agree!

Ok, first off, I give you one of my all time favourites, Hatake Kakashi from Naruto.

Now, I realise I might be crazy, but Kakashi has featured in my dreams many times.

Then there’s Roy Mustang – the Flame Alchemist – from Full Metal Alchemist.

Next up, we have Amon, from Witch Hunter Robin. I guess I’m a sucker for the broody, troubled type. In this same category is Uchina Sasuke from Naruto.

Someone who is completely in his own category is Ichigo from Bleach. Mmmmmmmmmmmmm…. Ichigo…….

Another category is Howl, from Howl’s Moving Castle. He used to be blonde, but I like him better now that he has dark hair..

And then of course, who can resist a bad boy?

Here’s a list of my favourite bad boys:

Uchina Itachi;

Kimimaru;

Gaara and

Zabuza from Naruto
And who could ever forget that ultimate bad-ass Vicious from Cowboy Beebob.

Ok ok I admit it. I’m obsessed with anime character and Yes, I realise that they are drawn and not real.

Just to show you that I am able to perve over really real guys too, here’s one of the most sexiest dudes alive, Clive Owen…… sigh!

Probably the most random post in histo-ree.

I finally finished watching Full Metal Alchemist. It got me thinking about death again. I don’t think death can ever truly be far from our minds. In ‘In Arcadia’, Ben Okri says that ‘when all the possibilities of life, when all the failures of a life so far, when all the despair, the fears, the worries are set against death, how feeble all our fears, worries and failures seem. The fear of death narrows the perspective of life, narrows it, and makes all of living shrink. The fear of death makes life not worth living. It makes life a sort of living death. For it gives death such power and such hegemony over every act of living. Fear of death makes death into a tyrant that commands all the laws and routes of living. It makes life surrender to death, to a future death, to a thing that has not yet occurred, and so it abolishes the entire scope and freedom of living while one is alive’. FMA the movie left a lot of questions unanswered and a lot of open threads. While it irritates me to ever rising levels to not know what happened with certain characters, I also kind of like the fact that it wasn’t tied up, all neat and tidy. Open endings mean that you can decide for yourself how the story ends. I always like a story to end where all of the characters fall in love and live happily ever after, even if I have to do some heavy self-convincing that that is what is taking place.. I blame Walt Disney. Another reason I like open endings (and I’m sure this is somehow also from Ben Okri – like everything else I say that sound clever), is that when a story is cleared up for the audience, it stops right where it says “the end”. When the story is open-ended, it kind of becomes immortal. It goes on and on and has different significance for each person who comes into contact with it, yet remain universal, regardless of age; gender; culture; etc. And thus it lives forever! So in a way, I didn’t so much finish watching Full Metal Alchemist as set it free to follow its own destiny, where ever that may lead it.

I've started watching Witch Hunter Robin and have already many midnight fantasies about one of the animated hotties. Before you ask, YES, I am aware that they are drawn... In my fantasies, so am I!

Oi! Maybe I’m watching too much anime… NAH!!!

What have I done!!!

I feel so bad. I've always believed that you have to be careful about what you say, because your thoughts, words and ideas can become a reality just by being said out load.

I've also always believed that the planet Mercury is out to get me, especially this February and have been spewing all sorts of crap about it for weeks now, not wasting any time blaming everything that goes wrong on the fact that Mercury is in Retrograde. My Co-workers think I'm insane, but actually I'm just a Drama Queen.

So anyway, now I've gotten them believing that Mercury is out to get them too, because some of them have started to blame the red planet for a lot of things. At this point, I just have to mention that some pretty weird things have been going wrong... Maybe that's why otherwise rational people are opting to trust the words of the infamous office lunatic..

Is it possible that I made this happen? Could I be the cause of all this negative karma surrounding our office? It really seems like it's one thing after the other... Maybe I should have just kept my big mouth shut and have suffered in silence - like that's ever going to happen!

Still, I feel bad because if it is indeed my fault, I should be using my significant powers for good instead of evil! I should be finding solutions, not finding reasons why things don't work out!

Oh Heaven forgive me, I knew not what I was doing!

The Ree game.

Thanks to Rob, I have started to play the name game. How it works is that you Google your name and the word 'needs', and search.

The reesults are as follows:

REE needs to build capacity by hiring more scientists

REE needs the Harris and Benedict [3] equations for adults

REE needs to purchase $2722529 this fiscal year.

REE needs to employ an anti-explosion design

Ree needs either to find him (?), or what happened to him, or the four of them will be turned out to the fields

ree needs a class in sensitivity and knows how to be a real human being

REE needs protection from EDC (?)

REE needs the agreement of the economy Ministry

Ree needs one and probably her MIL too, for the house down south

Ree needs to do a movie, a musical or something.

REE, is determined by what the body needs to run its involuntary metabolic processes

Ree needs to explore Funny Bunnies

REE persistence needs to be investigated in a more long-term study

REE has become technically easier to perform

Ree knows she needs to find her father to save her family but in a culture riven with secrecy and paranoia her questions are unwelcome

The Yanktons' head chief, Struck By The Ree

REE-C, you are a fucking ugly gorilla who needs to stop posting up 'sexy' pictures of yourself on your myspace page! you are fucking ugly and nasty (not a fan I guess)

The market surged with the explosion of REE

"'Course Ree, she always dances, anyway. She don't need to swim ...

The REE instrument examines personal recovery

REE needs under usual NH care conditions

I also found some other people named Ree:

http://ceaseresistancespankingree-again.blogspot.com

http://www.thepioneerwoman.com/

http://vampirefreaks.com/journal.php?u=Ree

and I found this bit of a book, featuring Ree:

The Dollys, introduced as enemies of the Redmonds in GIVE US A KISS, are the central figures in WINTER’S BONE (2006). Sixteen-year-old Ree Dolly keeps house for her mentally unbalanced mother, her two younger brothers, and her father, Jessup, the best meth cooker for miles around. Ree’s plan is to make it to seventeen, and join the army ("where you got to travel with a gun and they make everybody help keep things clean"). But Jessup has disappeared while out on bail, and unless Ree can track him down and get him to court, her family stands to lose the ramshackle house and the timber land that is all they have in the world. So Ree embarks on a journey of sorts, to the other members of her clan, seeking information on her father. Thwarted by everyone, lied to by her uncle and even viciously beaten by some of the womenfolk, Ree, indomitable, presses on until she gets the answer, and the proof, she so desperately needs. Ree is an absolutely memorable character. Her combination of stoic determination, tenderness towards her younger brothers and mother, mixed with her awareness of the code that her people live by, bring her vividly to life. Woodrell’s description of the hardscrabble backwoods of the Ozarks in the dead of winter, his use of the hillfolk vernacular and his characterization of the various members of the Dolly family draw you in to this world, just as foreign to most readers as New York or Los Angeles would be to Ree. Highly praised by all review sources.


Anyway, that just goes to show how popular I am :)

Thanks Rob! Now that I don't have a life either, I can atleast google myself. Ciao!

Will I need a red cape for this?

Last night I went for my second yoga class and stretched in ways that I have never stretched before. I really surprised myself – who knew that I could do even half of those poses! When I went home I felt so powerful, like a super hero, which is probably why I had that dream..

We (shall remain anonymous) were all at Rustlers for some reason, but these bad guys from the future were there to stop something that happens in the future from happening.

Other people were there from the future as well, a guy and a girl, who said that they were here to stop the bad guys from stopping the said thing from happening. (I realise I am being terribly vague, I don’t really remember it all that well).

Anyway, so it turns out I am some sort of superhero and that the baddies wanted to stop me from being borne, only they had come to the wrong time/space. Their contingency plan was to stop me from getting my powers, which was said to happen any moment now.

They rounded all my friends up and where about to kill them, when I fell down the mountain that I was watching them from, grabbing on to a rope, swinging around, trying not to die.

As time passes in super slow motion, I get struck by lightning while dangling and reach the baddies just in time (presumably before they kill someone) and kick the main baddie in the head. Head goes flying. My eyes now do this sort of quicksilver/lightning thing and I can fly!

The goodies turn out to be my children from the future and while they refuse to give me any details, they say that something is going to happen in the future that involves me – I am the only one who can make a difference.

So much for that though… Hopefully I get to destroy Mercury! I wish I could remember more detail – could make a nice story!

Anyway, so I guess the Yoga left me feeling pretty empowered. Now if only I could learn to use my significant new powers for good instead of evil…

Plunging into the unknown.

Last weekend I went Gorge Jumping at Graskop, Mpumalanga.

Now what, you might ask, does a Gorge Jump entail?

Well, you have to wear a full-body harness that is attached to a rather thin looking rope. Then you have to jump. It’s very flippen high. The theory is that you plunge into the Gorge for about 3 seconds when you are abruptly snapped as the rope reaches its limit. You then flip around and swing wildly for a while, until you are swinging more slowly. You are then basically suspended in the air and have to wait for someone to help you down.

The great thing about it is that it is really beautiful down there. I was a bit sedate at the time, but it was really wonderful. I wasn’t afraid at all, just a little bit hesitant when it came to actually jumping. You have to will yourself to jump. I sort of leaned into it and just surrendered myself to whatever was to happen next. I knew exactly what was underneath me, but was strangely resigned to whatever the results of my actions would be.

My friend and I jumped together, and we were strangely relaxed. We didn’t even scream or cry out. I just held me breath when we were falling and let it go only once we started swinging. The fall itself was too quick to even register – it was all over before I even knew it.

I was a bit disappointed at that – I had looked forward to the falling bit. I wanted more of an adrenalin rush, I guess. Next time I’m going to jump out of a Plane, I think that is the only way..

It was a great experience though... Being confronted by the reality of the situation and still coaxing yourself into action is no small feat. Especially if the situation in question entails you willfully putting your life in the hands of a suspiciously thin rope that has to carry the weight of two people. I feel like I can accomplish anything now. No more fear of heights! No more fear!

Life is too short, uncertain andunpredictable to worry about things that are beyond my powerto control. And those things that I can control - well - I'm not afraid of those things either.

i jumped off a freakin' mountain!!!

Anyway, the minute I figure out how to upload the footage onto Blogger, everyone will be able to see me and my friend plunge into the great nothingness!

Hey, can anyone tell me how I can repair my PC Karma?
I work on a computer every single day, but all computers hate me.

What can I do to rectify this situation?