Memoirs of a Reesha.

Just finished reading ‘Memoirs of a Geisha’ by Arthur Golden. Can’t wait for the movie, the book was superb. It’s the story of a young girl who is sold by her family into slavery. She grows up with certain ideals in mind and becomes a Geisha, never giving up on her dreams. It was such a lovely read, I couldn’t put it down. So inspirational, so profound at times. Not only is the story so incredibly intriguing and beautiful, the way he phrases the things that he says is so beautiful. Truly beautifully written. Here’s one of my favourites: “We lead our lives like water flowing down a hill, going more or less in one direction until we splash into something that forces us to find a new course”.

I’ve always believed that destiny will lead you to whatever you are supposed to go. As I’ve often said, there is no such thing as co-incidences. It is important, though, that you take part actively in the travelling part of this journey. Like a road trip. The things that we learn along the way happen to us on purpose, so that we acquire a new skill or gain a strength that we will need when we progress further along the road, in order to be able to go further. I don’t understand any of the things that happen to me, I don’t even think anything has ever really happened to me. Not like some of the stories you hear.. Still, I believe that I’ve grown as much as I was able to and I don’t think that it stops there. There’s got to be more. I’m not ungrateful when I say that nothing has even happened to me. I’m not saying that at all. I’d just like to see some results, is all. My biggest trial is my own impatience. Leo to the core, I want the World, NOW!

Here’s some more Memoirs of a Geisha – wisdom that definitely taught me something:
“We human beings are only a part of something very much larger. When we walk along, we may crush a beetle or simply cause a change in the air so that a Fly ends up where it might never have gone otherwise. And if we think of the same example, but with ourselves in the role of the insect, ad the larger universe in the role we’ve just played, it’s perfectly clear that we are affected each day by forces over which we have no more control that the poor beetle has over our gigantic foot as it descends upon it. What are we to do? We must use whatever methods we can to understand the movement of the Universe around us and time our actions so that we are not fighting the currents, but moving with them”.

I can’t make the phone ring. I can’t pretend to understand when I don’t have a clue. I just know that it hasn’t happened yet, because of a very important reason. Whatever that might be. Maybe, seeing as I’m still so sickeningly irrational about this, the phone isn’t ringing because I need time to deal with myself and the situation. I need a chance to gain some distance and perspective, to get over the anxiety and learn how to be in control of the situation. Maybe the call will never come. Maybe I’m supposed to forget about it. Maybe it will come. Maybe I need to focus on becoming the person that I’ve always wanted to be, regardless of who is or isn’t I my life or what does or does not happen. Maybe if I’m happy, the world will be happy with me! What am I saying? I AM happy! I’m just impatient. Boo!

KT Tunstall sings loudly and proudly: “Find yourself another place to fall. Find yourself up against another brick wall. See yourself as a fallen angel. Well I don’t see no holes in the road but you. Find another place to fall. There isn’t much more I can say. For I don’t understand the delay. You’re asking for friendly advice and remaining in permanent crises. Affection is yours if you ask, but first you must take off the mask…”

At the moment I’m reading ‘The Pigeon’ by Patrick Süskind, author of the amazing novel ‘Perfume’. Damn I loved that book. What brilliance!