What am I doing?

I feel like I'm slowly becomming invisible, like the world is forgetting about me, like I don't matter any more. I've decided to give up alcahol and cigarettes for Lent, just to get my head cleared again. I can't remember the last time I didn't feel crap when I woke up. I can't remember the last time I had a dream. Mostly I think I just pass out. I really think Partying so much is becomming a means of escapism. I think that taking an indefinate break will get my head cleared, give me time to focus on saving whats left of my studies and give me time to confront my issues. A friend pointed out today that all my issues are so silly and irrational. I know I'm paranoid and I realise that I run away with things. Maybe I should just give myself a break. This break, however, involves my social life. This is not about waiting by the phone or not waiting by the phone. This is about me and the fact that I need to love myself and focus on achieving my goals for ME. Marilu baby, thanks for listening. It was great to spend time with you today, you really have a talent for putting things into perspective. What am I going to do when you move to Japan? Kom volgende naweek na die Picasso uitstalling toe!