So, my week has been crazy. I met a guy this weekend who really sparked my imagination. I know what you're thinking... here we go again. I doubt that anything will come of it, though. I'm not exactly your average fairytale princess, am I? Oh, I'm not dissing myself, I'm just saying that things like the yukky-love crap never really works out for me. And I'm so sick of this subject. Spent last week quite miserably searching for something to distract me from the realisation that I don't feel anymore. That I don't engage anymore with this world. Blah! A couple of days later, I spent an hour crying my heart out in my Therapist's office about not being able to cry any more. What a nut-job!
Anyway, so I'm studying for the exams. Got a distinction for my visual communication study of feminism. Yeah! And I'm learning a lot about film history. Can't wait to see Citizen Kane! When I was much younger, this is embarrasing, I has the biggest Jones for Orson Welles. I used to dream about becomming Mrs. Welles....OK, moving on.
My flatmate and her new boyfriend are making me ill with their own special brand of yukky-love crap. I hope this one stays, he's kinda growing on me, eventhough I was suspicious of him in the beginning. When am I going to have a life? When will I stop living through the experiences of others!
I'm just being melodramatic, I really like my life and the semi-independent shell I've constructed around it. My heart is a virgin. It remains intact, even after many close-calls.
One day I hope to have graduated to a frame of reference that does not include wondering why I'm about to be 25 and still single. Lets hope its tomorrow.
Finally decided what to do after I finally finish studying... Drumroll please!
I'm going to go live in the U.K. Publishing is big there and I've always wanted to go. Besides, If I leave before January 2008, I will be gone for 2 years (more than enough time) and be back in time for January 2010. I have to be back in S.A. for 2010, its going to be super terrific!
Is that a great idea, or is that a great idea?
6 comments:
don't you think that the only way we can live our lives is through the eyes of other people? it is through those eyes that we learn about ourselves. they might not always be favourible, they might not be nice, but what is the good without the unkind.
a secret. you will find exactly what you need if you stop looking for it. believe that you are love. you have all the love you need inside you. love yourself and others will love you.
mwah:)
I don't know hey.. about finding what you want when you stop looking for it. Do we ever really stop looking for love? Ree would be able to tell you that I quoted the words in your comment, but with a secret-ridden smile on my face. You never really stop looking. But you might find it in the most unexpected of places.
Love the universe, and it will conspire to give you what you deserve.
Was that Paulo Coelho? Wise words. I do believe in love, its like Faeries, if you stop believing, it will die. I've read that we become truly self-aware when we recognise that we are camios in other peoples movies. Make of that what you will. How can you not look for love? My friend Mario told me, though, that Love is like catching a butterfly. When you chase it, you will just scare it away, but when you forget about it and relax, it comes and sits on your hand. Wish I had a net.
from experience I have to agree with mr. Pit (mal). Love will find you once you love yourself enough to allow it. especially if you stop needing and wanting and just being.
I dont believe in chasing love or even looking for it, I never actually even believed in it until it just naturally and coincidently found me.
fainting princess;)
You gone silent or whats happened??
Just thought I would check up on you.
<-- HUGS -->
No, I have Bronchitus and am writing Exams, thus can only afford to grace you all with my super terrific self once a week now. But not to worry, I'm here now!
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