ROAR! said the Lion.

Today I am 25. Actually, when I say today, I mean this day on the 23rd of July. I don’t know when I’m going to get to post anything. Don’t have money for the Internet café. So what else is new? What a strange day. This weekend started off so badly. I organised a party on Friday - very badly! Everything went wrong from step one to step umm, well, the last one. Then of course, I hear that my old friend Mercury is in retrograde and we all know how that turned out the last time. Personally, I think Mercury is jealous of me somehow… Well, so when we arrived at the party, we were two hours late, the venue had been double booked, half of the people had already left and the few who remained only stayed long enough for me to chat with shortly and then left. I didn’t even have enough time to really talk to anyone. It feels like I collected presents and exchanged pleasantries and then had to move on to the next person, because everyone was demanding my attention. Then of course, Mr. Taurus is there and I almost have heart failure, because I’m so glad to see him, come especially for the party, so sweet. I know he wasn’t there just for me, but I would be lying if I said that when he’s in the room, I am not affected at all. In fact, I was too affected for my own good. I guess I’ll always think of him in terms of the future, when all things that seem impossible now, have a real chance of happening then. To the future! Anyway, it gets worse. My boyfriend, who was supposed to work and couldn’t come to the party, shows up to surprise me. Now, this handsome young Cancerion came into the picture just a few days before, when on his birthday, we went on a date and just ended up dating. He’s so wonderful and I want him to be very happy. He seems to think that I’m a goddess, so I’m just going to go with it and hope that he doesn’t wake up from that fantasy too soon. No one has ever wanted to date me. Most guys are just interested in sex or want me to read their mind to know how they are feeling. This man actually wants to spend time with me because he loves my mind and wants to just be with me. I AM SO FREAKED OUT BY THIS NEW SENSATION OF BEING NEEDED AND WANTED and let’s face it. It’s realistic because he’s willing and able to commit to me. He’s trying to slay the dragon! So, here is Mr Dragon slayer and Mr. Taurus at one party. I feel like I’ve betrayed Mr Taurus, even though I don’t owe him any allegiance more that friendship. I feel like I’m misleading Mr Dragon slayer, which I really was not. Maybe I was just so overwhelmed. The party was a train crash. I was on an emotional rollercoaster one minute and flat lining the next. I don’t know what I expected. Luckily, my friends were there, and I m so grateful to them for being in my life and not running away kicking and screaming from the crazy lady. Probably shouldn’t have gotten wasted to try and cope either. That might just have made it all worse. I had lots of fun in the end. And I was so glad it was over. And I was just freaking out way too much. Like, I thought I would be able to handle little things like this. Maybe before I turned 25 I just had to be irredeemably incapable for the last time. Thanks Mercury you cold hearted son of a bi-atch! So, today is my birthday and my boyfriend still hasn’t dumped me for being insane and indecisive. Maybe he likes his women crazy, I don’t know. I’m going to stop being a commitment phobe now. For this year, my wish is that I will be happy and successful and that I will be able to make my amazing friends and family very happy. I wish to discover new things about myself and the world and to live the inspiration. I have had wonderful examples and influences from the people I will just call my Royal advisors. As I am about to embark on a whole new chapter, I look back fondly, hoping that it was all worth it to get here and that I will never stop learning about and loving being alive. And never again will I be organising any parties, especially not for myself.
So, right now it is the day after my birthday and I must say that all things considered, it was wonderful. My new boyfriend treated me to wine, salad and bought me a present, which he was not supposed to do, since we had only been together for 4 days. He’s so incredibly sweet and I’m going to do my best not to screw it up with him. Also, I believe it is important to hold on to my individuality, because you cannot possess someone and you can definitely not allow anyone to possess you. I think I’m going to be fine. I’m an adult now and know a lot better. Tune in next time for some more developments!