Love Light

Love. Why are we so obsessed with the idea of finding love. You might say that I am inlove with the idea (or rather the ideal) of love. What is it to love? I love my friends and I love my family. I love every tree and every blade of grass, every flower and every butterfly. I love the wind on my face, I love standing in the rain, I love being bathed in the moonlight.

Milan Kundera in his book "The unbearable lightness of being: says that "Perhaps all the questions we ask of love, to measure, test, probe and save it, have the additional effect of cutting it short. Perhaps the reason we are unable to love is that we yearn to be loved. That is, we demand something from our partners instead of delivering ourselves up to them demand-free and asking for nothing but their company".

I've always thought that if you tell someonethat you love someone, you have all the right in the world to expect it back. Why should only your heart be put on the line. Why should you be the only one taking the risks. Ofcourse, you can't make someone feel love for you... And I believe that should all have enough self-respect to see when our energies are being wasted and to put and end to it. I will not be toyed with, I don't have the time. I have things that I want to accomplish and so much more that I want to experience. I'm not interested in meaningless relationships. I refuse to waste my time while there is so much to be done. The world is so big, its so scary. Sure, no one has ever died of a broken heart, so there is a lot to say for the adventure factor of relationships. I suppose I just don't feel like disappointing myself. I don't want to be satisfied with lowering my expectations! Why should I settle for second best contentment when I can have pure Extacy? I am not one half of a whole, forever searching the Earth for my missing other half!
I am one pure whole being with my own hopes and dreams and goals and fears and expectaions.
It would be wonderful to share that with someone, I really do want to get married and have kids, but only on my terms: without sacrificing my ideals and principles. I will be just as happy being alone and being the only constant person in my life, self-reliant, strong and empowered..That said, isn't it ironic that I can't stop obsessing over finding someone to love? I have so much to give and desperately want to give it to someone. Damn you Walt Disney and William Shakespeare who made me believe in soulmates!
This is me. I am the only one who is me. Thats all I can really count on.