Oh Ye Oh Ye! What a Merry Christmas this promises to be!

Hi there strangers! (who is the strangest one here - I vote for ME!)
So I haven't been a-blogging for a while, because I'm too busy, but I'm not going to waste time making excuses on my own page for not blogging, because SERIOUSLY!
Instead I will be lamenting this past year.
Last night I ree-organised my photos and happened upon last New Year's photos from Rustlers Valley. It seems appropriate that I start my lament there.
When we went to Rustlers, I met Melody.. Mr Taurus' cousin, and I instantly fell in love with her (in a non-lesbian way). I knew when I met her that it was the Universe that brought us two super-powers toghether. We became the very best of friends. The holiday ended with Mr Taurus telling me that he does not want to be in a relationship at this point in him life.. which i understood completely (being myself a pathological commitment phobe) and assured him that I was fine with that. I wasn't really, since I really do love him very much. It's the kind of Love that does not expect anything from the other, but that that Love is returned. There were no rules, nou boundries and no limitations to my Love. Maybe that scared him. Or maybe he was unaware of my true feelings, since I lied about it in order to assure him that I would be ok. I know now that that was to my own detriment.
Since then, I tried many times to get over him.. but those feelings not only remained.. I believe that they became stronger.
But nevermind that.
So, the year started off with a bang.. (i'm so funny sometimes!) and back I went to a job that was draining all the life from me.. but atleast I could pay my own rent.
I jumped off a cliff when we went Gorge Jumping for my friend Dandilion's birthday and it was by far the most exciting thing that I have ever done.
The company where I was working closed and I had to find a new job FAST! At least I had managed to finish my degree by this time, so I quickly got a job at a magazine. Things went well..ish. It was really great very challenging. I got to write some of the reviews and even did some research of my own into articles. I wrote one.. which went into the archives..silencing my attempts to raise awareness about E-waste.
A nobel cause!
I went to Sun City with a friend and had a wild old time. So wild infact, that I made a lot of mistakes that i would later pay for. Such is the law.
I went to Oppikoppie for the 1st time and my life and had such a freakin good time that I will forever be going, from now on.
mmm.. Then my internship ended at the magazine and they wouldn't give me a contract because I didn't have my own car.. which kindof sucks, but nevermind that. I found a job temping and have been doing that ever since..
In the meantime, I graduated from Varsity - which I NEVER thought would happen..
I was robbed a couple of times - losing my cellphone and the last time my beloved laptop..
A couple of times the Ocean claimed my phones.. She's always been kindof a bitch to me, but i think we understand eachother now.. So now I am on my 5th Cellphone for the year, 2nd laptop and 3rd job. Quite eventful. I saw the Lion King, I saw the Grimm Faery Tales, and went to the 46664 concert!!!
I've met really interesting people and have said goodbey to a few as well. Life has actually been good, considering that it could have been worse and that I still have my sanity (debatable).
Though it has been tough going, 2007 has not been that unkind when I think about it.
I did manage to tell Mr Taurus that I love him, and I now know that he loves me too. Nothing has really changed, but then I wasn't expecting it to. Because I'm chickenshit, I wonder if he really understands exactly HOW MUCH I love him, but that seems irrelevant now. At least I am loved in return, and that's all that matters.
I'm doing Yoga again and that has made me so happy! I'm learning Poi, so that is also adding to my happiness AND I bought a Levi Jean, which makes my butt look hot and that makes me very happy. I love my current boss and I'm sure she and I will be friends for the rest of our lives.
I am grateful for my health and for my good fortune to have had a wonderful education. I am thankful for my wonderful family and my super amazing friends.
They make me a better person. I am grateful that I have so much Love in my life and that there is Hope in the world.
This New Years, I will be spending with Mr Taurus in Capetown.. a very similiar situation than last year, except I am much more confident and relaxed about the whole thing. I cannot wait for the clocks to be ree-set and for a whole new life to begin. Who knows, hopefully I will even have a new job in the New Year!!!
I wish you all a very happy Chistmas and New Year, and i pray that we will all remember that regardless of your religion, Chrismas is about unconditional Love. May we all experience a Love that forgiving and graceful. Peace be the journey! And remember kids! SAVE OUR CLIMATE!

A quicky to satisfy my audience..

It's been a while since you've heard from me, my faithful subjects!
My life has changed over and over again in the last couple of months, which is good, because change is good. These changes have been significant and i'm sure that they will turn out to have been for the best. I'm trying positivity. The law of attraction. Oh, one exciting thing that happened is that I have graduated! Yay me!
Anyway, so I'm working now, trying to pay the rent and cover the basics, so while things are quite hectic, it's also rather uneventful, except for the aforementioned incidences that is known only to those involved in my daily existance. Uuhhmm.. and I've become totally addicted to facebook. That's pretty much my life... but do not despair loyal bloggers! Your Queen will never abandon you! I shall return! this time, with something to say. Peace be da journey!!!

Fear of Failure

Last year about this time, I had a nervous breakdown. I've come a long way since then, but I haven't really gotten over my fear of failure. I'm afraid of disappointing everyone..
Anyway, so lets hope that my freaking out about how this last exam went down, is just me freaking out, and not me failing the exam.
And if I passed, then I will be a graduate, and THEN what?

What? Where? How? Who? When? Why? What? Where? How? Who? When? Why? What? Where? How? Who? When? Why? What? Where? How? Who? When? Why? What? Where? How? Who? When? Why? What? Where? How? Who? When? Why? What? Where? How? Who? When? Why? What? Where? How? Who? When? Why? What? Where? How? Who? When? Why? What? Where? How? Who? When? Why?

It's a strange strange world we live in, Master Jack (Daniels).

So I'm sitting on my balcony, minding my own business (reading Jitterbug Perfume by Tom Robbins), when I hear someone screaming and swearing loudly.
I look down from the 4th floor and see this guy that lives in nr 15 storm out (he was the one yelling and swearing) screaming over and over again of how tired the was of these (insert f-word) people. Bad mojo was following this guy around, you could spot that a mile away. He was very angry as he got into his big and shiny BMW, slamming the door, the brakes screeching. He pulled his car into the parking lot only closer to the No Parking sign (inside a bush) got out of his car, slammed the door.
He then tried to rip out the sign from the bush and didn't manage it. He swore loudly once again and stormed back to his car, slammed the door and screeched off - only to return 10 mins later (with rope), swung his car around, slammed the door, tied the rope around the sign, got in his car, slammed the door and ripped the sign out with his car. All the while screaming how sick he was of these (insert f-word) people.

I still don't know which people.. He also deposited the now deceased sign into the Care-taker's parking spot. She later told me that apparently he had scratched his car against the sign, and that that was why he had taken his (rather significant) anger out on the poor sign. Correct me if I am wrong, but the sign (having been inside the bush) could not have scratched his car unless he had driven into the bush... right?

Weirdness... anyway, so I took down his license plate number and am now a witness.. Go me.

New horizons?

Well, it's taken forever (quite literally) but I am finally in full view of the end of my studies.

This week I still have a mini-test, a huge test and a project due on Friday, and there-after, only the exam on the 06/06/07. A higher evil?
Then (if all goes according to plan) I graduate! Finally! After five long years of blood, sweat and many tears, I - Queen Ree - will be a graduate! Whoo-hooo! And you had better believe that there will be a HUGE party to mark this prestigious event.

That, and I have a job interview on Friday, which will hopefully open up many more doors for me. With the end of an era so close that I can smell it, there are a lot of things to be done before I can wip out the champagne.

All we have is Time

Haven't posted in a while, so I thought I would just give an update.
Life is decidedly proceeding from day to day... nothing new really. I have started to watch "Heroes" and am enjoying it very much. It's so cool and intriguing and has many hotties to perve over..
Enough of that..I am anxiously awaiting some more Desperate Housewives and Grey's Anatomy episodes.

I'm suppose to be studying for my Semester test, but am very sick (caught the office flu) and will probably have to write the sick test.
I finished my Learning programme and am anxiously awaiting feedback.. I must admit that in my hurry to finish it, i might have rushed it a bit.

What else can I tell you.. uhmmm.. OH! I'm reading "Anansi Boys" by Neil Gaiman and am loving every word! If I didn't have to go to work or study, I would never put it down.

Time is one of those infuriatingly unpredictable things. When you want it to pass quickly, it drags at an excruciatingly slow pace, but when you need it to drag, it speeds up like that little Mexican rodent Speedy Gonzales.
In Michael Ende's book "Momo", there are such things as Time-thieves: Gray men who go about conning people into investing their Time into a Timebank - thus leaving some spare time left over when you need it the most. The trick is apparently not to waste time. Unfortunately, it is all just an elaborate ploy to steal the Time and feed on it. Like Vampires. I wonder if that could ever happen?

Running towards...

It has been quite a ride since the last time I wrote. No doubt you were all getting impatient to learn what had happened with the rather substantial amount of work that I had to do.
Well.. the long weekend was the perfect opportunity for one to catch up, but it's also a terrible waste to work all the time and not enjoy the rare opportunity to hang with ones friends.. I did do a lot of work this weekend, but by Sunday I had had enough of being indoors and desperately craved a communion with mother nature.
After I had finally managed to leave my flat, I felt much better. Cabin fever does weird things to people..
Anyway, I was force-fed Sushi and my fortune cookie said:
Don't follow a path. Go in your own direction and leave a trail.
I loved that. It means that all of my problems can be solved simply by changing my perspective and trying something unconventional.

So now its back to work and wonder above wonder - it's still there! I have projects and tests and and and, as well as a demanding job and attention requiring/deserving friends.
How will I find the time? By being magical, mystical and mysterious.. and doing it all at the same time, regardless of the ever-threatening possibility of failure.
The fear of failure should never be an excuse not to do it anyway.

Whoops! Gotta GO!

Don't really know what to make of this..

What Famous Leader Are You?
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Global Personality Test Results

Stability (33%) moderately low which suggests you are worrying, insecure, emotional, and anxious. Orderliness (46%) medium which suggests you are moderately organized, hard working, and reliable while still remaining flexible, efficient, and fun. Extraversion (73%) high which suggests you are overly talkative, outgoing, sociable and interacting at the expense too often of developing your own individual interests and internally based identity.

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Freudian Inventory Results

Oral (53%) you appear to have a good balance of independence and interdependence knowing when to accept help and when to do things on your own. Anal (46%) you appear to have a good balance of self control and spontaneity, order and chaos, variety and selectivity. Phallic (56%) you appear to have a good balance of sexual awareness and sexual composure. Latency (43%) you appear to have a good balance of abstract knowledge seeking and practicality, dealing with real world responsibilities while still cultivating your abstract and creative faculties and interests. Genital (56%) you appear to be somewhere between a progressive/openminded and regressive/closeminded outlook on life.

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Locus of Control Test Results

Internal Locus (36%) Individual believes that their life is defined more by their decisions and internal drive. External Locus (64%) Individual believes that their life is defined more by genetics, environment, fate, or other external factors.

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Personality Disorder Test Results Paranoid |||||||||||||||| 66% Schizoid |||||||||||||| 54% Schizotypal |||||||||||||||||| 74% Antisocial |||||||||||| 46% Borderline |||||||||||||||||| 74% Histrionic |||||||||||||||| 66% Narcissistic |||||||||||||| 54% Avoidant |||||||||||| 50% Dependent |||||||||||| 42% Obsessive-Compulsive |||||||||||||||| 62%

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Indie Personality Test Results

59% Indie Scoring highly suggests you are likely to be very liberal, independent minded, self identify as an outsider, shun materialism and popular culture, and have an aversion to organized religion. While high scorers are more intellectual than average, they are probably more artistically astute than intellectually avante guard (i.e. they are more likely to know of new interesting new bands/artists/writers than the best way to extract energy from a hydrogen atom. Low scorers, will generally tend towards the opposite of the above. They will tend to be more materialistic, conservative, corporate friendly, social and are more likely to be religious.

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Cerebral Personality Test Results

56% Cerebral Scoring highly suggests you are likely to be very inquisitive, exploring, scientific, contemplative, self-examining, and philosophical. Low scorers, will generally tend towards the opposite of the above. They will tend to be more conventional, less curious and analytical, less focused on the big picture / global variables, and more comfortable identifying as part of maintream culture.

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Career Inventory Test Results Extroversion ||||||||||||||||||||| 66% Emotional Stability |||||||||||| 40% Orderliness ||||||||||||||| 50% Altruism |||||||||||||||||| 56% Inquisitiveness |||||||||||||||||| 60% You are an Inspirer, possible professions include - conference planner, speech pathologist, HR development trainer, ombudsman, clergy, journalist, newscaster, career counselor, housing director, character actor, marketing consultant, musician/composer, artist, information-graphics designer, human resource manager, merchandise planner, advertising account manager, dietitian/nutritionist, speech pathologist, massage therapist, editor/art director.

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Lessons learned, experience gained.

What a weekend its been. I had a really tough time.. nothing that in the end , could not be handled though.
The production went really well. There was a hick-up here and there, but on the whole, it went rather smoothly. We had a wonderful team, who each excel in what they do. People enjoyed the shoe very much and had some interesting suggestions for next time. And yes, there will be a next time.
The Gallery also went really well - it looked amazing thanks to Harry for the wonderful job that he did there and the artists who are intimidatingly talented.
There was a situation, where a lot of money was missing, and I was frantically running around trying to find it, hoping against all odds that was not stolen, but realizing that that was probably what had happened. I was so freaked out - i don't have money to replace the missing money!!! So, there I was, running around like a crazy, when I get a call that the money had been found - that my Cosmic Cousin had had it all along, for safe keeping. I was so relieved, but still very freaked out. Running back to front of house, I hugged my CC and looked in the box.
The money was gone! It turns out that someone's Dad decided to pull a stupid prank on us: he hid it to make us think that the money was really gone this time. They let us go on freaking out for 20mins before they came clean about it, and I didn't think it was so very funny. In fact, I thought it was seriously fucked-up and cruel! When I thought that the money had really disappeared, I aged 10 years right there., on the spot. I wouldn't be surprised to find gray hairs on my head after this...
I am actually still in shock. i don't think I will ever speak to this persons' Dad again. He is an adult and Psychologist. He should have had better judgment!

Anyway, were that the only thing that flipped out, it would still have been fine.
My first catalogue/programme publication was a tragedy. I blame bad planning.
And yes, it was all my fault. I neglected to start the process early enough to hound people for content and for me to have enough time to check the proofs when it came back from the designer/printer. As it was, I received the finished catalogues 20mins before the show.
BAD REE!
The result was that there were a lot of type-o's, and important information was cut out. I was so upset over that. It was my fault for not checking - I'm a bad publisher- but to be fair, it was my first time. And the type-o's were sooooooooooooo funny. I'll never live that down!
I decided that rather than freaking out about something that is too late to change now, I am just going to accept it and take the lessons I have learned with me. It's done. There are only a few of them anyway, so they are collectors items now.
One day, when I am rich, famous and a lot more powerful, those first publications are going to be worth a lot of money. And they look amazing - at least they're real pretty!
If you want a limited edition first Queen Ree publication that can be used to make fun of me in the future, we still have some left. It's really funny!

As i've already said, I have learned a lot about this sort of thing and as an incredibly wise person told me: there are no such things as flops, as long as you can learn something from them.

I am going to need a break before I can do the next one.... I just need to catch my breath!

I am Superwoman in training!

I am so excited! I am now OFFICIALLY a Publisher. I have just completed my first publication (our limited edition Gallery of Distorted Art catalogue/programme) and it looks.. in a word.. AMAZING! I am floating on air with joy! The print-run is only 100 copies, but the point is that I now get to call myself a Publisher with pride - no longer do I have an empty Publication portfolio! YEAH!!!

www.galleryofdistortedart.blogspot.com

Ofcourse, I had an amazing team behind me, so Guys and girl, YOU ROCK!!!
How fortunate I was to have met such amazing people who are so dedicated to art.

Speaking of art, here's an interesting bit of an article!

http://scienceblogs.com/omnibrain/2007/04/the_impact_of_failing_vision_o.php?utm_source=sbhomepage&utm_medium=link&utm_content=sublink

And now for something completely different: Halloween 2006 with Pandemonia, Misty and OhKyle!


To everyone who can make it to my Exhibition/Show, it's gonna blow your mind! Do enjoy!
Thanks to Queen Shakira (Queen Lestat) for blatantly spamming everyone about the show, and also to everyone else who did the same. I love you all forever!

yours,

The Queen.

Easter Madness

As I boarded the bright Orange airplane that was to carry me home to Ballito, I reflected fondly on the many memories that I’ve already made there:

Christmas on the sundeck – Christmas after party in the hot tub; every party I’ve ever attended at my uncle’s house; girls night with my mom, cousin and aunt; almost drowning with Harry - two Easters ago; New Years beach parties that inevitably get too rough even for me; Moonlit nights on the beach with someone special – dreaming about what the future holds; sitting on a rock – staring at the Ocean – daring Her to come get me if she had the guts! Maybe that was a mistake. Especially since Ballito is right in the proverbial line of fire. Global warming is a bitch. After seeing the beaches post-springtide, I am more convinced than ever that too much harm has already been done.

All the memories on those beaches, and now I can’t event really gain access to them any more – you get fined for attempting it.

I remember a weird thing. Several years ago, I was living in Germany, and met a young British soldier named Danny. Danny and I took an almost instant liking to each other. I was all alone in a strange country, far far away from home and could not yet utter a recognisable word in German, nor could I understand anyone around me. English is not big there. That’s how I ended up meeting Danny. The soldiers were English and I needed friends. He and his friends teased me because my Post-Colonial South African English was much better than their British mumblings. Go figure. We started going out and for a couple of weeks it was bliss. I had never really had a boyfriend before – and not really since then (too full of shit).

Too make a long story short, it all ended rather abruptly. I had just been placed in another city and had to leave the next day. I went to look for Danny, to say goodbye. When we parted… I promised to write – and I did – but never mailed the letters. I kept them in a drawer and eventually tore them up and threw them away. I went on with my life and embraced it fully. I never heard from him again. I guess he might have been sent to Afghanistan or Iraq or someplace like that. Maybe he never returned.. Who knows? I don’t even remember what he looked like. I just remember his name.

Memory is like that. We hear a song, catch a whiff of a familiar smell or touch something that brings back a flood of memories. Sometimes memories just jump into your head randomly, and you have no idea what had just happened. I hope that I will be given a chance to make new memories in Ballito – ones that are just as extra-ordinary as the ones that the Indian Ocean had tried to wash away. I’m certain there will be many more moonlit nights. I also hope that I will get to know that feeling again. The one where someone adores me and tells me that they need only me in order to be really happy. Someone who can read my thoughts, who will know my true feelings without me having to say a single word, someone who will know all of these things immediately, just by noting the expression on my face. I can’t have blown my only shot yet; I was too young, ignorant and proud to truly appreciate it for what it was. There has got to be more of that on the way. More moonlit nights, more hand-holding, more passionate kissing, more knowing glances, more teasing, more drinking wine on the beach and dreaming about tomorrow. I hope to God that there is a tomorrow for all of these things to happen in. And I hope that wherever ghostly Danny is, that he is happy. Ok, that’s enough of that yucky love stuff!

I adore the East Coast. It is breathtakingly beautiful. It’s got the unruly and vicious yet disarmingly stunning ocean, the magnificent grass ocean; the hills; the swamps; the jungles; the soft, white sands; the cooling, fragrant breeze; the easy going nature of the people; the sunsets; driving in a car sightseeing; discovering new pieces of paradise; sunsets and perhaps even the sunrises (I must confess that I am rarely awake to see the sunrise) and the open-air.

So I decide to disregard the vicious assault that the Ocean had made on my home town and to embrace it anyway. I decide to go in search of an open beach, just to wet my feet. (You’ve gotta wet your feet, right?)

So off I go to wet my feet, find the only remaining “open to the public” beach and arrogantly stepped out of my shoes to (say it with me) wet my feet. Man, I had not been standing there for more than 3 seconds, when this huge mother of a wave comes along, sweeps me off my feet and tumbles me around a couple of times. Picture me, feet in the air, skirt up to my shoulders, stumbling around, trying to get a foot hold.

I nearly died laughing at the amazing irony. It was then that I realised that I had had my bag around me and that said bag was now a fishbowl. Yup, with my brand new Samsung D900 floating merrily inside. Goodbey D900! It’s been a hell of a 2 weeks!

I suppose it was my arrogance that did it. Please some one, remind me to tell you all the story about ‘The Ocean and I’ one day. It’s quite a good story. I guess that things like this happen to bring us back down to Earth, before it gets out of hand. Clearly, I was not ready for yuppy-scumhood.

The rest of the holiday, I spent driving in a car with a boy, sightseeing and enjoying the natural splendor that is Ballito, running to the shops, attempting to watch anime and listening to music. And sleeping. Sleeping soundly, like a baby! Oh Bliss!

By the time that I got back onto the Orange airplane and Mango Experienced my way back to Jozi, I was so incredibly relaxed as I haven’t been in years. Also… kinda sad to leave… Reluctant to leave Paradise behind….

When I reached Joburg, I met my Cosmic Cousin Mel D and we went to this function in Melrose Arch where I made eye contact with the SUPER FABULOUS Deon Chang! Wheeeeee!

Then we went out for a lovely dinner and went home after listening to some fine tunes. It was wonderful to be home again, even though I already miss everyone down at the coast. All that’s left now is to go back to the normal everyday work and play of, what I affectionately refer to as, my crazy life. Never a dull moment.

And hey! I’ve got an exhibition to plan and host, so I’d better get to work!

Diary of a Procrastinatrix

Friday night. I should be studying, but I figure I still have the whole weekend to that. I don’t want to burn out now, do I?

So instead I have dinner at my Ho Momo’s house and over a generous helping of the most decadent Chocolate Salami and Apple Strudel, and lament on the Violet Piking who has evaded me now so faithfully for so many months. This of course, led to an even more much too often repeated story of how much I need to get laid. I really think I need help.

We were watching Sex in the City, and Momo was saying how much he is like a twisted cross between Carry and Miranda, and I remarked that I was a lot like Charlotte, with a lot of Samantha mixed in to form an intriguing yet hazardous combination. This discussion, suddenly brought back to my mind, the many T.V. characters I have either identified a lot with, or that others have said I resembled a lot in character and disposition. Here is a short list. I’ve been called Ally McBeal; Bridget Jones; the entire cast of Desperate Housewives (especially Bree); Dharma; Phoebie from friends; Grace of Will and Grace; Summer of The OC; Brenda in Six Feet Under and Meredith of Grey's Anatomy. Oh, and also Candace Bergen’s character in Boston Legal. A curios bunch of women...

Saturday. I’ve studied all morning and around late afternoon I decided to find out what my urban family are doing. Interestingly enough, they are just planning a quiet evening and I, desperately in need of a quiet evening, invite myself over and we decide to get wine. You can’t stay in and not have wine! Plus, I’ve been studying so hard, I deserve a break! We end up watching that movie Pulse and I’m scared shitless – cause I’m a weenie. I end up sleeping on their couch, only to wake up the next morning, knowing full well that I should be at home, studying. I stay until after afternoon coffee. In my own defence, let me just say that I really did study when I got home.

Sunday. I’m cooking. I never have time to cook anymore, and this seemed like an excellent opportunity to do so. I know, I am the Queen of procrastination, but I’ve already studied some, I’m just making sure I have time to process all of this information, and a girl’s got to eat, right? Some baked vegetables on pasta, brain food!

Sundays I usually reserve for melancholy reflection on my life and remembering all the wonderful times with people I love. I usually get quite lonely, and inevitably reach for my phone. Are you familiar with the saying: a hundred contacts but none you can dial? I feel like a loser wanting to surround herself by people so that she doesn’t have to think about how alone she is. I also don’t want to phone someone up and pile all of my neuroses on them – I’d rather be alone for that – it’s frightfully unattractive! Maybe I should stay away from Jack Johnson for a while…

Today was nice though. I started it surrounded by loved ones and now I’m supposedly too busy studying. Right. That’s why I’m typing instead of reading scientific journals. This is not me complaining. I’ve got it really good! I suppose spending so much time with couples would make any person feel kind of.. outnumbered. I’m an odd-number. Truth be told, even-numbers have always made me nervous. I like the numbers 3; 5 and 7. I distrust the numbers 1; 2; 4; 6 and 9. 10’s are good, and I adore 8’s, but that’s about it. Ok, I’ve just realised how crazy that sounds and also that I should be reading scientific journals, not going on about my irrational numbers-thing. Let’s try reading for a bit! .. I wonder if it will rain tonight…

Monday. I didn’t rain. If it did, I was unconscious, so - it didn’t happen. I spent the whole day studying… I keep telling myself that this isn’t like last year, when the pressure was on the success of the single test. This time at least, I’ll get other chances, so there’s no reason to give myself a panic attack. I’ve got such a huge pile of other things to do though, I have to finish the Goda poster, go see an artist who wants to exhibit with us, I have a million things to do when I get back to the office on Wednesday, plus I need to get started with that learning programme that I need to write. Anyway, stop fretting about what needs to be done and focus on the matter at hand – i.e. studying for my very important semester test.

I go to yoga and find that I have very little energy. I also find it very hard to let go and relax, but I guess that after Tuesday evening I will be a whole lot more relaxed.

I get home and have the long awaited emotional meltdown. People said that I should expect one after yoga, but I didn’t believe them. I didn’t believe them about the toxins leaving my body painfully, and that certainly happened, so I should have expected this. Emotional toxins need to come out as well, and since I’ve been under so much stress lately (the last 3 years), there was plenty of material for it to feed on.

Oh sweet sleep, I surrender myself to thee!

Tuesday morning. I wake up feeling refreshed and much better than yesterday. I’m also in no small amount of pain, but I’m used to yoga-aftermath. I look forward to a day of fun filled studying, topped off with a delectable semester test this evening. Better get to it. I hope it doesn’t rain on my hair when I walk to campus later…

Tuesday evening. As I was brushing my teeth before bed and reflecting on my day, I found myself making a few wishes. I wished that this damn Colgate Herbal would finish already, so that I could get a better-tasting toothpaste. I wished that I had studied a little more or had started earlier. And finally, I wished that I hadn’t taken so many chill pills before the test. I had been taking such good care of myself throughout the day.. I made sure that I got all of my vitamins in; I ate regularly to avoid low blood sugar; I drank 2 litres of water; I drank some camomile tea, brain-fuel tablets, Pharmaton fizzy; headache tablets and some mild sedatives (fear-of-experiencing-anxiety); I made sure that I was dressed warmly and paced myself the entire day – careful not to overload my brain and tire it out. I even managed to squeeze in a coffee with some old friends, before I went off to study some more. It was at this point that I decided to take some more sedatives, only two hours after I had taken the last ones.. and off I went to write my test. The test itself went… ok-ish. There were no unfamiliar concepts and I had rambled on enough to at least get me very close to passing! Then I went for a walk around campus, enjoying the solitude and the gardens and structures so much. They really made it nice for pedestrians.. So many trees and prettiness all around. The evening is so nice and cool and quiet! Anyway, so Harry and I finished the poster over copious amounts of coffee and I wondered if I shouldn’t take some headache tablets – but decided against it. I’m beginning to spot a trend here, and I want to nip it before it gets out of hand!

So now, all that’s left for me to do is to go and sleep off this buzz, if I can fall asleep with all this Caffeine in me. Perhaps a sleeping tablet? Just kidding!

No, I think I’ll be fine. It has just started to rain again.. you really can’t complain about the weather we’ve been having! - Except if you live around the coast or in Madagascar…

I see trees of green.....

What are we doing to this world?

In Brazil they have started to use sugar cane fuel in order to 'be kinder to the environment'.
Now this seems like a wonderful idea at first, because fossil fuel is very harmful to the environment and is going run out anyway.
The problem comes in that now there is a demand for sugar cane fuel, the amazon rain forest is being demolished and burnt down in order to fill the demand.
Doesn't that sort of defeat the purpose?
Don't they realise that they are only making things worse?
When is the human race going to learn that we are responsible for this devastation of our beautiful planet? When it's too late, that's when. In that way, we shall return to the nothing form whence we came, and it all will be lost.
I accept that there needs to be balance. I accept that the cycle of life and death has to complete itself , but why am I hearing more and more excuses and half-brain solutions than alternatives or real, sustainable solutions.
The earth is at war with us, its parasites.
Storms are getting worse!

uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

Ok, so I haven't blogged lately and I do apologize to the more fanatical of my fans. Yes you!
I've just been really busy, you know?
What with studying; going on courses; going to work every day; going to yoga;... It seems like I'm always going somewhere, but the question is whether I'm actually getting anywhere. I don't know. I'm happy, I know that much. Being busy has the added advantage that I don't have time to drive myself crazy.
I think i just need an adventure. Although, who the hell has time for adventure, I've got deadlines!

And now for something completely different: a picture of Jared Leto

If that failed to distract you, I don't know how else to make up for my boringness, other than to reflect once again on how much I miss being able to walk naked around the house... sigh.

Oh well, maybe I will miraculously become more interesting as the day progresses.
If not, I can always count on Tribecca's Chocolate Martini.

Hot Anime Boys.

Now, I know this might sound weird. For as long as I can remember, I have had an unhealthy obsession with animated characters. Like, sometimes I would have dreams about them and in these dreams, I would be animated as well. Or I would dream that they came to life. I don’t really know if many other people experience the same thing, so I have compiled a list of the hottest anime characters that I could think of right away. See if you agree!

Ok, first off, I give you one of my all time favourites, Hatake Kakashi from Naruto.

Now, I realise I might be crazy, but Kakashi has featured in my dreams many times.

Then there’s Roy Mustang – the Flame Alchemist – from Full Metal Alchemist.

Next up, we have Amon, from Witch Hunter Robin. I guess I’m a sucker for the broody, troubled type. In this same category is Uchina Sasuke from Naruto.

Someone who is completely in his own category is Ichigo from Bleach. Mmmmmmmmmmmmm…. Ichigo…….

Another category is Howl, from Howl’s Moving Castle. He used to be blonde, but I like him better now that he has dark hair..

And then of course, who can resist a bad boy?

Here’s a list of my favourite bad boys:

Uchina Itachi;

Kimimaru;

Gaara and

Zabuza from Naruto
And who could ever forget that ultimate bad-ass Vicious from Cowboy Beebob.

Ok ok I admit it. I’m obsessed with anime character and Yes, I realise that they are drawn and not real.

Just to show you that I am able to perve over really real guys too, here’s one of the most sexiest dudes alive, Clive Owen…… sigh!

Probably the most random post in histo-ree.

I finally finished watching Full Metal Alchemist. It got me thinking about death again. I don’t think death can ever truly be far from our minds. In ‘In Arcadia’, Ben Okri says that ‘when all the possibilities of life, when all the failures of a life so far, when all the despair, the fears, the worries are set against death, how feeble all our fears, worries and failures seem. The fear of death narrows the perspective of life, narrows it, and makes all of living shrink. The fear of death makes life not worth living. It makes life a sort of living death. For it gives death such power and such hegemony over every act of living. Fear of death makes death into a tyrant that commands all the laws and routes of living. It makes life surrender to death, to a future death, to a thing that has not yet occurred, and so it abolishes the entire scope and freedom of living while one is alive’. FMA the movie left a lot of questions unanswered and a lot of open threads. While it irritates me to ever rising levels to not know what happened with certain characters, I also kind of like the fact that it wasn’t tied up, all neat and tidy. Open endings mean that you can decide for yourself how the story ends. I always like a story to end where all of the characters fall in love and live happily ever after, even if I have to do some heavy self-convincing that that is what is taking place.. I blame Walt Disney. Another reason I like open endings (and I’m sure this is somehow also from Ben Okri – like everything else I say that sound clever), is that when a story is cleared up for the audience, it stops right where it says “the end”. When the story is open-ended, it kind of becomes immortal. It goes on and on and has different significance for each person who comes into contact with it, yet remain universal, regardless of age; gender; culture; etc. And thus it lives forever! So in a way, I didn’t so much finish watching Full Metal Alchemist as set it free to follow its own destiny, where ever that may lead it.

I've started watching Witch Hunter Robin and have already many midnight fantasies about one of the animated hotties. Before you ask, YES, I am aware that they are drawn... In my fantasies, so am I!

Oi! Maybe I’m watching too much anime… NAH!!!

What have I done!!!

I feel so bad. I've always believed that you have to be careful about what you say, because your thoughts, words and ideas can become a reality just by being said out load.

I've also always believed that the planet Mercury is out to get me, especially this February and have been spewing all sorts of crap about it for weeks now, not wasting any time blaming everything that goes wrong on the fact that Mercury is in Retrograde. My Co-workers think I'm insane, but actually I'm just a Drama Queen.

So anyway, now I've gotten them believing that Mercury is out to get them too, because some of them have started to blame the red planet for a lot of things. At this point, I just have to mention that some pretty weird things have been going wrong... Maybe that's why otherwise rational people are opting to trust the words of the infamous office lunatic..

Is it possible that I made this happen? Could I be the cause of all this negative karma surrounding our office? It really seems like it's one thing after the other... Maybe I should have just kept my big mouth shut and have suffered in silence - like that's ever going to happen!

Still, I feel bad because if it is indeed my fault, I should be using my significant powers for good instead of evil! I should be finding solutions, not finding reasons why things don't work out!

Oh Heaven forgive me, I knew not what I was doing!

The Ree game.

Thanks to Rob, I have started to play the name game. How it works is that you Google your name and the word 'needs', and search.

The reesults are as follows:

REE needs to build capacity by hiring more scientists

REE needs the Harris and Benedict [3] equations for adults

REE needs to purchase $2722529 this fiscal year.

REE needs to employ an anti-explosion design

Ree needs either to find him (?), or what happened to him, or the four of them will be turned out to the fields

ree needs a class in sensitivity and knows how to be a real human being

REE needs protection from EDC (?)

REE needs the agreement of the economy Ministry

Ree needs one and probably her MIL too, for the house down south

Ree needs to do a movie, a musical or something.

REE, is determined by what the body needs to run its involuntary metabolic processes

Ree needs to explore Funny Bunnies

REE persistence needs to be investigated in a more long-term study

REE has become technically easier to perform

Ree knows she needs to find her father to save her family but in a culture riven with secrecy and paranoia her questions are unwelcome

The Yanktons' head chief, Struck By The Ree

REE-C, you are a fucking ugly gorilla who needs to stop posting up 'sexy' pictures of yourself on your myspace page! you are fucking ugly and nasty (not a fan I guess)

The market surged with the explosion of REE

"'Course Ree, she always dances, anyway. She don't need to swim ...

The REE instrument examines personal recovery

REE needs under usual NH care conditions

I also found some other people named Ree:

http://ceaseresistancespankingree-again.blogspot.com

http://www.thepioneerwoman.com/

http://vampirefreaks.com/journal.php?u=Ree

and I found this bit of a book, featuring Ree:

The Dollys, introduced as enemies of the Redmonds in GIVE US A KISS, are the central figures in WINTER’S BONE (2006). Sixteen-year-old Ree Dolly keeps house for her mentally unbalanced mother, her two younger brothers, and her father, Jessup, the best meth cooker for miles around. Ree’s plan is to make it to seventeen, and join the army ("where you got to travel with a gun and they make everybody help keep things clean"). But Jessup has disappeared while out on bail, and unless Ree can track him down and get him to court, her family stands to lose the ramshackle house and the timber land that is all they have in the world. So Ree embarks on a journey of sorts, to the other members of her clan, seeking information on her father. Thwarted by everyone, lied to by her uncle and even viciously beaten by some of the womenfolk, Ree, indomitable, presses on until she gets the answer, and the proof, she so desperately needs. Ree is an absolutely memorable character. Her combination of stoic determination, tenderness towards her younger brothers and mother, mixed with her awareness of the code that her people live by, bring her vividly to life. Woodrell’s description of the hardscrabble backwoods of the Ozarks in the dead of winter, his use of the hillfolk vernacular and his characterization of the various members of the Dolly family draw you in to this world, just as foreign to most readers as New York or Los Angeles would be to Ree. Highly praised by all review sources.


Anyway, that just goes to show how popular I am :)

Thanks Rob! Now that I don't have a life either, I can atleast google myself. Ciao!

Will I need a red cape for this?

Last night I went for my second yoga class and stretched in ways that I have never stretched before. I really surprised myself – who knew that I could do even half of those poses! When I went home I felt so powerful, like a super hero, which is probably why I had that dream..

We (shall remain anonymous) were all at Rustlers for some reason, but these bad guys from the future were there to stop something that happens in the future from happening.

Other people were there from the future as well, a guy and a girl, who said that they were here to stop the bad guys from stopping the said thing from happening. (I realise I am being terribly vague, I don’t really remember it all that well).

Anyway, so it turns out I am some sort of superhero and that the baddies wanted to stop me from being borne, only they had come to the wrong time/space. Their contingency plan was to stop me from getting my powers, which was said to happen any moment now.

They rounded all my friends up and where about to kill them, when I fell down the mountain that I was watching them from, grabbing on to a rope, swinging around, trying not to die.

As time passes in super slow motion, I get struck by lightning while dangling and reach the baddies just in time (presumably before they kill someone) and kick the main baddie in the head. Head goes flying. My eyes now do this sort of quicksilver/lightning thing and I can fly!

The goodies turn out to be my children from the future and while they refuse to give me any details, they say that something is going to happen in the future that involves me – I am the only one who can make a difference.

So much for that though… Hopefully I get to destroy Mercury! I wish I could remember more detail – could make a nice story!

Anyway, so I guess the Yoga left me feeling pretty empowered. Now if only I could learn to use my significant new powers for good instead of evil…

Plunging into the unknown.

Last weekend I went Gorge Jumping at Graskop, Mpumalanga.

Now what, you might ask, does a Gorge Jump entail?

Well, you have to wear a full-body harness that is attached to a rather thin looking rope. Then you have to jump. It’s very flippen high. The theory is that you plunge into the Gorge for about 3 seconds when you are abruptly snapped as the rope reaches its limit. You then flip around and swing wildly for a while, until you are swinging more slowly. You are then basically suspended in the air and have to wait for someone to help you down.

The great thing about it is that it is really beautiful down there. I was a bit sedate at the time, but it was really wonderful. I wasn’t afraid at all, just a little bit hesitant when it came to actually jumping. You have to will yourself to jump. I sort of leaned into it and just surrendered myself to whatever was to happen next. I knew exactly what was underneath me, but was strangely resigned to whatever the results of my actions would be.

My friend and I jumped together, and we were strangely relaxed. We didn’t even scream or cry out. I just held me breath when we were falling and let it go only once we started swinging. The fall itself was too quick to even register – it was all over before I even knew it.

I was a bit disappointed at that – I had looked forward to the falling bit. I wanted more of an adrenalin rush, I guess. Next time I’m going to jump out of a Plane, I think that is the only way..

It was a great experience though... Being confronted by the reality of the situation and still coaxing yourself into action is no small feat. Especially if the situation in question entails you willfully putting your life in the hands of a suspiciously thin rope that has to carry the weight of two people. I feel like I can accomplish anything now. No more fear of heights! No more fear!

Life is too short, uncertain andunpredictable to worry about things that are beyond my powerto control. And those things that I can control - well - I'm not afraid of those things either.

i jumped off a freakin' mountain!!!

Anyway, the minute I figure out how to upload the footage onto Blogger, everyone will be able to see me and my friend plunge into the great nothingness!

Hey, can anyone tell me how I can repair my PC Karma?
I work on a computer every single day, but all computers hate me.

What can I do to rectify this situation?

When I was a young lass

When I was a young lass, still in my Queenly training boots, there was a show on T.V. called Liewe Heksie - it was about a young witch who lived in a flower filled land, where the villains were ugly and the goodies were pretty. Everything was pretty much as it seemed. As I grew into a young adult, i realised that I continuously surrounded myself with the real life character versions of that childhood fable. Here are the characters and their human representatives in my land:

Liewe Heksie - Wessel
Mattewes Kat - Marilu
Fee Prinses - Tish
Koning Rosekrans - Hernes
Griet - Morne'
Blommie Kabouter - Charl
Karel Kat - Carel kat
Kwaaitjie Kabouter - Lukas
Geel / Persheks - Ree
Kerrie Gifappeltjie - Gert
Borrie Gifappeltjie - Daniela
Kwaai babatjie - Willem
Rissiepit - Melody

if your name is here and you can read this, it means that we share a childhood ideal and that's probably why we became attracted to each other as adults. Perhaps I am still stuck in Blommeland, but it's just so pretty, why would I ever wish to leave it! Thanx Verna Vels for creating a realm for me of my very own!

Ps. the photo is courtesy of Dirk

QR.com

It's funny how the internet used to be my refuge - to whence I could escape and just assume an identity - not the real me, but someone who could provide me with an escape from my real life. Now my real life and identity has become the cyber me and as I go about my waking life in the real world, it is as if I don't really exist there anymore. I dawn the shroud of anonymity and walk the earth like a ghost. I am more real and alive within the infinate and boundless environment of the www and my human body only exists when I have to see to its by now routinised needs, always in keeping with a tight shedule.

Feelin Lucky

I feel ree-borne. I guess it is partly to do with the book I am reading (courtesy of Dandilion) Princess by Jean Sasson - the true story of life inside Saudi Arabia's royal family.
I don't think I have ever been so truly aware of how incredably fortunate I am to be a western woman. The freedom that I have always taken for granted, along with the many opportunities and comforts I am given, is a whole world apart from that of the lives of so many others.
I speak often of hating myself for being so ungrateful, but it had never truly sunk in how grateful I really should be. Here I am - a free, independent thinking and living Varsity near graduate (a mere 0.whatever of South Africans fortunate enough to have had a Tertiary education), with no handicap save my own weaknesses (that can easily be overcome with the right mindset) and friends and family who love me unconditionally.
What do I have to be sad about?
NOTHING!

So, I have decided (and I can only imagine how many of you are sighing in relief at the very mention thereof) to quit complaining and start enjoying my life, appreciating every fortunate moment of it. I came to this conclusion last night as the rain was singing me to sleep. I had nearly cried myself to sleep, because I had just watched Brokedown Palace - the movie about the two girls who are tricked into being Mules and are thrown into a Thai prison. Very good film.
Very sad and very terrifying. I really should thank my lucky stars!

Here's to New Beginnings!

oooooooooo! PS. I did 14 laps the other day in the pool! and today I'm going to go for 16!

Is Patriarchy to blame?

US air strike 'kill' Islamists
09/01/2007 11:48 - (SA)

Mogadishu - A United States air strike in Somalia that targeted an al-Qaeda cell wanted for two 1998 US embassy bombings killed large numbers of Islamic extremists, said government officials on Tuesday. The officials said the attacks, by a heavily armed AC-130 gunship, came after the terror suspects were spotted hiding on a remote island on the southern tip of Somalia, close to the Kenyan border. It was the first overt military action by the US in Somalia since the 1990s and the legacy of a botched intervention - known as "Black Hawk Down" - that left 18 American servicemen dead. Deputy prime minister Hussein Aideed said: "The US was trying to kill the al-Qaeda terrorists who carried out the bomb attacks on their embassies in Kenya and Tanzania. They have our full support for the attacks."

US sends air carrier to Somalia

The US air strike came 16 days after Ethiopia forces invaded Somalia to prevent an Islamic movement ousting the weak, internationally recognised government from its lone stronghold in the west of the country. America and Ethiopia both accused the Islamic group of harbouring extremists, among them al-Qaeda suspects. Ethiopian troops, tanks and warplanes took just 10 days to drive the Islamic group from the capital, Mogadishu, and other key towns. Meanwhile, the US military said on Tuesday that it had sent an aircraft carrier to join three other American warships conducting anti-terror operations off the Somali coast.

US warships had been seeking to capture al-Qaeda members thought to be fleeing Somalia in the wake of Ethiopia's December 24 invasion. The US attacks took place on Monday afternoon on Badmadow island. The area was known as Ras Kamboni and was suspected to be a terror-training base.

Most Islamic fighters 'killed'

A government spokesperson Abdirahman Dinari said: "The strike was carried out after it had been confirmed that al-Qaeda members are hiding there in the area. "We don't know how many people were killed in the attack, but we understand there were a lot of casualties. Most were Islamic fighters." Witnesses said that at least four civilians were killed in the attack, including a small boy. The claims could not be independently verified. Mohamed Mahmud Burale said: "My four-year-old boy was killed in the strike. The plane was firing at other areas in Ras Kamboni. We could see smoke from the area. We also heard 14 massive explosions."

After two days of fierce fighting, Ethiopian and Somali forces said they were on the verge of capturing Ras Kamboni, where they said the Islamic movement was cornered. US officials said after the September 11 attacks that extremists with ties to al-Qaeda operated a training camp at Ras Kamboni and al-Qaeda members were believed to have visited it. According to one of the convicted bombers, the alleged mastermind of the embassy bombings in East Africa, Fazul Abdullah Mohammed, escaped to Ras Kamboni.

(Copied and pasted from News24.com)

OK, now I am the first to admit that I know nothing about Politics, nor do I care to know – since in my humble opinion, its all just a pissing contest that the Patriarchs instituted to determine who gets the best parking spaces… but can somebody please tell me what gives the US the right to just bomb things? “Oh, no we sort of think that they were harbouring terrorists, pity about the civilian casualties…”

Am I alone in feeling slightly nervous about these trigger-happy so-called leaders of the free-world just having the right to bomb whatever they don’t understand or suspect or are afraid of? I bet Michael Moore agrees with me…

“I know! Lets just kill everyone who doesn’t agree with us along with any one who gets in the way of that mission!”

As a child of the western world – ok, I’m a tree-hugger hippie feminist – I can sympathise with the need to make the world a safer place, but surely there are many other ways to go about it!

How many other countries are in dire need of some help from their more affluent neighbours? Are we forgetting Zimbabwe? Imagine for a second what it must be like to wake up every day, not have any decent food or shelter, hostility all around you, kids - starving and afraid for their lives.. What about the way woman are still treated in the non-westernised world? who is in charge of fixing that? Why the hell are they not doing their job!

What the hell is going on? The rich getting richer, the poor getting poorer – even in South Africa (supposedly the gateway to the rest of Africa) the amount of homeless people and the people begging at intersections have increased drastically in the last 2 years… I’m not saying lets redistribute the wealth equally in a Communist fashion, but there must be another way than the general apathy doing the rounds.. Who is supposed to take care of things like that? Our Government? Ha!

I’m sounding like a pessimist, but I assure you I am not. Things are bound to get better – albeit slowly. Imagine for a second what the world would be like if people stopped being so selfish and learned to communicate/compromise better. Are we truly so incapable of sharing the planet as a species? Would it be better if Mother Earth purges us once and for all, seeing as though we only cause pain and destruction where ever we settle? Can you believe that killing baby seals is considered a sport? I am outraged at the arrogance of those fuckers who decided that! And what's with the fuckers who let them get away with it?!

Sometimes I wish I had become one of those Greenpeace vigilantes… Are human beings truly nothing more than a virus, Mr Smith?

And another thing!

In Kwazulu-Natal, they are soon beginning construction on a new airport. Yeah! Progress!

Pity that the area that they want to build it on (the La Mercy area) is the only place in the world where many different Swallow-species come to breed! Sorry Nature! If you get in our way, we’ll just make you disappear.. Am I alone in seeing this as wrong? How do these people get their building permits anyway? Is there not some sort of investigation that is supposed to take place? Did they get the permits through corrupt channels? Or is the government aware of the situation and simply does not care? I don’t know which scenario is worse..

What to do, what to do….

The quest for Arcadia

I want to learn how to “contemplate silence”. Maybe I should lean how to meditate! Cam anyone give an obsessive compulsive overindulged lunatic a few practical guidelines?

I wish to learn how to block out certain impulses… “…things that tantalise and infuriate the mind and which also blot out of perception things subsequently seen.

Because for something to be seen requires consciousness and if the mind is dwelling on a previous detail, it sees nothing afterwards but its own thoughts and reactions.

And so much remains always unseen where there is much that fascinates the mind and eye….

..A whole philosophy lies in the paradox, a life lived at speed, with many gaps in perceived reality, many things and events not looked at properly or deeply, which would later haunt one as fragments of dreams. A life viewed all mixed up with, with dreams unclear.

Life tending towards dream.

Like the swift mysterious life of Alexander the Great. A life, which, because of so many mental puzzles, so many incidents to report, to perplex, leads the mind towards a preference for stillness.

Preference for a life where things are given time to unfold, to reveal their hidden wonders or terrors.

Preference for a life where seeing is just as difficult, because it requires such stillness of heart, such patience, such concentration, such quietness of mind, such motionlessness of spirit”. Ben Okri in In Arcadia.

I can sense that there is something I must discover, in order to set my mind at ease – a message – a revelation of some sort… and much needed tolerance for major and minor annoyances…

On the road again...

So here's a little story to cheer us all up! I like to call it, Ree's adventure on the Bus over the Christmas holiday.

It all started when I had to jump on a bus to go to Durban, so that my mother could pick me up and take us both to Ballito, where we were to enjoy the Christmas holiday together as a family. Image the Queen on this bus for a moment.... oh come on, it'll be fun!
Strapped into an uncomfortable seat with 50 other unlucky souls in close proximityto her, breathing in their farts... jingle bells, jingle bells....... Irritating the crap out of me with their cellphones, jokes and obnoxious illegal drinking on the bus (thanx useless cabin attendant!) ... dashing through the snow...........

So anyway, after possibly the worst bus experience of my life (for which I deserve a fucking medal not having killed anyone!) we finally got to our destination.
Now, as many of you know, I had made plans to go to Rustler's Valley for New Years with some friends. This meant that I would have to leave right after Christmas, again on the bus, cause there were no available flights, to meet the others and drive together to Rustlers.

Now, I admit that I was stupid for not planning this trip better, but to make a long story short, there were no more bus tickets available for the time I wanted to leave. I had to
leave on the 26th!!!!!!!!
What's more is that all the other busses were taken, so I had to go on the SA Roadlink. I did not enjoy this thought at all, but then again, I hated all the other busses by this time, so one bus was just as good as the next one.
Thus I left for the bus station with a hangover on boxing day, having spent only 3 days with my family and being completely exhausetd.
It did not help my nerves at all that the SA Roadlink had had an accident that killed 12 peolple only a few days before. What can I say...... desperate times........

So I bravely get on the bus, clutching my rose-quarts tightly in the hope that we wouldn't have an accident.When we were just outside of Petermaritzburg, our bus was pulled off by the traffic cops, who arrested our driver for drunk driving. (It turns out that he was not drunk at all, their little blow maschine-thingie was faulty). So they take him to get his blood tested and leave us by the side of the road for 45mins.
When they finally returned, we thought Hey! here we go!

No such luck.

Instead they escourted us to the PMB testing station so that they could test the road worthiness of the bus. It would have been great if they had done all of that before the bus had left its destination in Durban....

Anyway, so we get to the testing station and join the que of about 15 busses infront of us who were suffering a similar fate - and about 20 more behind us eager to jump the que.
Each bus takes about 20 mins to test and all the passengers had to get out and wait outside - where I might add, there were no descent fascilities, no working vending mascines and no shade.
As some of the busses failed their roadworthyness test, the general morale was becomming increasingly aggitated. Luckily ours was fine and we could be on our merry way, after waiting at least 2 more hours. I felt so sorry for the poor passengers who now awaited the replacement coaches hopefully being sent by the bus companies.

When we were on the road again, we were stuck in traffic for about another hour and only then saw what the hold-up was.......... was it an accident or a road-block? NO! No it wasn't!
As we drove past the Cash-in-transit car lying on its roof - Police all around - I took a sedative and tried to sleep through the rest of the trip. My nerves just couldn't take any more.
It is ironic to reflect that regardless of this ordeal, it had probably been my most comfortable bus trip ever, with the best service! Thanks SA Roadlink! May you never have another accident!

I do think however, that flying would be the best option for those who can afford it. Public transport being what it is in sunny old SA does not leave you with a lot of other alternatives....

Maybe once the Gautrain in running..............................................

007 is upon us!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!

Now that I've gotten that out of my system...
There can be no one living on this planet that is gladder that 2006 is over, it was such a horrid year! It was very exciting and I am by no means saying that I didn't learn a lot and enjoy a lot of it. There was lots and lots of that too. Lots of life and lots of love.

Well, the clocks have reset and now I have a whole new chapter to write!
I even have some New Years resolutions, but I'm not going to bore anyone with those - especially since most of them are aimed at creating a better me and thus is of a rather sensitive and personal nature. Suffice it to say that there's gonna be some changes. For the better.
My whole attitude is one of unquencheable optimism and I feel sure that this year is gonna be great. I spent New Years at Rustlers' Valley in the mountains with good friends and had a really good time. Am NEVER camping again. My 12 'o clock moment featured me surrounded by friends infront of a fire/drumming circle. I am thankful for all the love in my life. it will get me through the hard times. Love like that is eternal and unconditional and that is the way that I love. Even Milan Kundera would agree that that is the only way that works.

I would like to focus more on my career, now that I've got one. I was given an amazing opportunity and refuse to squander it.

To all of you out there in the world, Love as much as you can.
A good friend of mine gave me this advice: Make out with as many people as you can, but don't shag them immediately.
Another wise sage said: the greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return. As I am posting this, I am also chatting with a good friend about eros love. I've come to the conclusion that love given freely does not need to be returned. I don't want to have someone disappoint my expectatons - that's why I don't have any of them. It is not unreasonable to expect ones love to be returned, but I do not need anything returned. I just need to feel it right now. Something to dream about, to obsess about, to cry about....

The moral of the story? Love as often as you can and as hard as you can! There is enough hate and sadness in the world, there is no need to add to it.

Oh! and I made a new friend. When we met it was a pure act of desiny.
This next section is for all my little Leo brothers and sisters and for you Melody, my cosmic cousin.
LOVE YOU!!!

2007 Horoscope Forecast

Leo the Lion in 2007

will & determination,

combined with optimism

It's a year of two fires for you, Leo. First, there's the slow burn of Saturn, measurer of effort, in your sign. Then, there's the wildfire blaze of Jupiter in Sagittarius and your solar fifth house. Saturn will urge you to keep focused, take authority or responsibility and stay on the path of your chosen goals or ambitions until he moves from your sign in early Sep. This is the fire of will and the determination to see things through or get where you know you have to go. Hard work, obligation or even solitary action may be the price. These is a weight that comes with Saturn

However, the fire of giant Jupiter, the lord of fortune, will uplift you, bringing optimism, enthusiasm, a slice of luck and a desire for humour and enjoyment. Jupiter is expansive and alerts you to the wide variety of stimulus, knowledge and exotic flavours that are just waiting in the big wide world for you to come and find them. Though the fires of these two cosmic giants are compatible, the dynamics of their operation are different. You'll have to run a line between the more conservative and mature demands of Saturn and the wildfire of Jupiter as the year unfolds. More especially so because Jupiter spends a good portion of the midyear in a holding pattern of tension with the Lunar Nodes, indicating that if you let the urge take you, you could go too far, too fast without the backing or foundation you need to support your efforts. Don't stretch yourself or your finances too far or the month of September will find you out. Don't let that caution dampen your spirits though. Jupiter still wants a party. Give him one. Jupiter moves in reverse on Apr 6th and forwards on Aug 7th.

On Jul 27th, Venus turns retrograde in Virgo. There may be a downturn or setback affecting matters of money or love. There may be interruption or delay in close relations or dealings. You may experience a temporary separation, a delay with someone returning or a block with funds. Old contacts or situations may return. Matters from the past may need examination and resolution. You feel withdrawn or you may feel someone is withdrawing from you. Float along. Don't worry too much. Take it quietly. The solution you're seeking to any problem or concern is one of personal response. Venus will move back to your sign on Aug 9th. You may revamp your image, change your approach or work to improve your relations with others. Venus moves forward again on Sep 8th.

Dec 19th brings a new cycle of contacts, associations, partnership and close relations as the Lunar Nodes move out of Pisces and Virgo and into Aquarius and your sign. Get ready for some exciting, juicy stuff.

Love and Money

Personal charm and physical magnetism make you the centre of attention, which of course is very much to your satisfaction... An ardent lover, your enthusiasm and passion must be returned in equal measure, or you may become bored and dissatisfied with your wimpy partner. A weak partner invites you to completely dominate the scene, a situation which is less than ideal for both parties. In every case you need to keep your ego under control, even when surrounded by admirers and sycophants.

Leo, a masculine sign, is self-sufficient, confident and tends to bravado. Most of you fabulous cats have a positive attitude to love and sex, but there are those among you who suffer excruciating pangs of anxiety in relationship.

Why, you ask? Well, simply put, it is fear that the reality may not live up to the unduly grandiose image that you seek to present to the world. Sexual anxiety may become so intense in some cases as to generate frigidity or impotence. So in a relationship, Leo loves to be the central, pivotal point around which all things revolve. A romantic and a dreamer, you make your dreams come true because you have strength, determination and a blithe faith in yourself - a faith which can overcome obstacles with that characteristic ease which seems so remarkable to more introverted souls.

Some Leos can find themselves clinging to bad relationships or mistaken beliefs, because their egos simply will not allow them to admit to being wrong. However, such typical tenacity becomes an asset when shown as loyalty to friends, or as patience and determination to succeed.

Leo's emblem is the noble Lion. This dignified king of the jungle symbolises the regal disposition of the Leo personality. However, standing on your pride when insulted or abused, you rarely forget a slight (unless of course your detractors sincerely, humbly and grovellingly crave forgiveness, whereupon you may magnanimously deign to pardon the miserable creatures). It must, moreover, be said that you are quite forthright in your opinions, which themselves need have no close relationship with the facts - and you certainly like to have the last word in any discussion.

In the art of lovemaking, Leo is ardent and willing, although not necessarily particularly creative. Your performance is usually considered by you to be generally excellent, but a worthy partner (who has a little more slyness and cunning than you would ever stoop to) can improve the quality and variety of your lovelife by smoothly introducing new ideas without seeming to ruffle your pride.

This is a year of romance for the Lion. Jupiter in Sagittarius decrees it. Those of you in a relationship may up the ante with emotional commitment or you may aim for a lifestyle that gives you time and space for shared activities and adventures. You may fall in love with each other again. Children may feature for some. Social activity, creative projects or exciting ventures or journeys will be on the agenda for others. Those of you that are single will find you're in the zone for romantic encounters. Entertainment or social activity will run hot and there'll be plenty of interest with the people you're meeting and greeting. Some singles may opt to play the field, not wanting to be tied down by commitment. Others may meet 'the one' and take it from there. Those you do encounter may be people from interesting or exotic backgrounds. Artistic people, people from other cultures and 'larger than life' characters will play their parts in the drama of social or romantic life. You may branch out into new fields of recreational endeavour. Anything from travelling for sporting or cultural interests to a dash across the dance floor or a dabble in amateur theatre. Get out there and do it, Leo!

Money's in focus in the coming year. Three eclipses and Mercury retrograde will affect your financial houses before Saturn moves to Virgo on Sep 2nd, urging you to get it right with personal spending and resources. Sound management and attention to detail will be important. Planning and preparation will get you on track. Keep savings aside to deal with small emergencies. Don't overextend and leave yourself with nothing in the kitty. You may need to train or learn new skills to open new lines of income. With Saturn in Virgo, the means by which you handle money and personal spending will have to change. Opt for a thrifty approach. Stick to the basics. Target the purchase of what you want by cutting out what's not important. No frivolous spending! If you wish to buy something of value, work towards the purchase by recognizing how many working hours will go into the purchase price. Make sure that what you buy will have a practical use. In the two years that follow, build resources and spending power through hard work and good money management. Some of you may learn about 'doing without' during this time. Some of you may put personal resources or money at risk in order to gain a greater prize. Saturn moves forward in Leo on Apr 19th and into reverse motion in Virgo on Dec 19th.

Home and Family

Change or development at home will be the upshot of Jupiter's recent transit in Scorpio and Saturn's continuing movement in your sign. You may have upgraded at home or you may have undergone major change of circumstances with family or fittings. There may still be work to be done at home. There may be boisterous or dynamic activity there. Males or vigorous tasks may feature. At times there will be tension or high emotion and you'll have to work to settle things down. There may be excitement or activity and you'll need to give it time to clear. Don't be slack with chores. Run a tidy house, even if that's sometimes against the odds. Activities at home may alter the dynamic of your household. There may be guests, family members or visitors involved with study or overseas travel or that hail from foreign climes. For some, new romance or sexual activity might be the dynamic. It could be hot but feisty. For others, new activities or interests will add to the atmosphere or the action in the domicile. One way or another, the home base will be touched by excitement or change as action, dramatic events or dramatic people set the tone.

Work and Health

With Venus and Mercury in Capricorn as the year begins, there'll be another side to relationships this year, a working one. There'll be focus on negotiations and dealings with co-workers or staff. You may find that internal relations in work will occupy your time. The social aspect of work will be important. Be clear, responsible and mature in dealings with people and situations related to your work or daily life. Develop your communication skills. Increase your knowledge or information load through education.

As for work itself, seek advancement through additional duties or promotion until early Sep. Through the year, opportunity or fortune will guide you to a new arena of endeavour if you're prepared for a risk. Investment, new ventures, creative expression or activities may contribute. If you want to get somewhere, do something to get moving. Some may put money into a business or creative venture, stepping away from the workaday world. This will mean dramatic change in lifestyle or work routines. You'll have to be disciplined. Others may set sail for a different risk, using earnings to finance lifestyle activities or interests. Take care the outgoings don't exceed the income. You'll know if that's going to be so by Sep. On Dec 18th, Jupiter enters Capricorn, urging study or opening the way for education, advancement or improvement with work or health conditions.

As far as health is concerned, these last years will have been testing and you will have had to focus on energy management and good routines. That's still the case till Sep with Saturn finishing his journey in your sign. You won't be able to burn the candle at both ends without being burned. Take breaks. Engage in necessary recreation as you manage your work time or your efforts. Exhaustion may be a concern. Recognize the signs and discipline yourself to take the right action. If you're suffering, even from minor concerns, get yourself treated.

Saturn's move to Virgo on Sep 2nd will take some of the personal pressure off. There may still be concern or worry over money but it won't be to the same extent as the pressure or burden of recent years. It's important for the coming 'two year' cycle of Saturn in your solar second house that you learn and apply the simple management techniques of ordinary healthcare. Look after yourself better with exercise, diet and self-nurture. Find the right balance between a little self-indulgence and proper restraint.

The last cautionary note for the coming year is to do with Jupiter's transit in Sagittarius. This could easily lead to excess or indulgence. Don't let it. It's important to enjoy yourself and relax but it's equally important to keep a sane and healthy boundary as to how you do so.

Career Matters

There are twin influences with career, professional matters and responsibilities. Firstly, Saturn is set to complete his journey in your sign. From Jan till Sep 2nd, Saturn in Leo will keep you focused on personal responsibility and authority. Deal with situations, people and decision-making in a mature manner. You will still have a load to bear and will rise or fall on your own choices. It's up to you to carry the burden. But this also means you'll reap the rewards. However, the other side of the coin is the journey of Jupiter in Sagittarius and your solar fifth house. It's onward and upward with new ventures, projects or recreational activity. You'll want to take a risk or a trip to a destination that's new, exciting or different. Whether it's to satisfy you or for a professional concern, embrace your creative ability. Do something with dance, drama, music or artistic expression. Some of you may think of teaching or entering a qualified profession. You may learn a language or skills with foreign cuisine. Others may simply find new avenues on which to travel the road of life. Make an art of socializing. Attend the theatre, the ballet or the opera. One way or another, you need to take or make the opportunity to enhance your lifestyle and fulfill yourself through creative or recreational or romantic activity. Embrace the romance of your life, Leo. Take a punt or a risk. Put yourself out there.

On Nov 15th, warrior Mars turns retrograde in Cancer. You may meet opposition with professional aspirations or in dealings with authority. Males especially will feature. You may review your action style, your methods or even your career. Something you've done or worked on may need review. Your cycle of responsibilities may require a new look. Go back over old ground. Find a remedy for problems or redo old work. If there is ill-feeling in someone because of the past, sit down and work it out. Give others time and opportunity to let off steam. Watch tension with a young or emotional male. There may be anger from females or family members over authority issues. There may simply be delay or frustration with professional goals or responsibilities. If feelings boil over in a professional situation, keep a lid on them till later. Work them off in private. Mars is in reverse as the year ends.

Mercury the Messenger

Mercury moves into retrograde (reverse) motion three times a year for about three weeks each time. This phase heralds a time of confusion and misunderstandings that can affect arrangements, travel, transport, appliances, machinery and communications. The breakdowns that occur are a function of neglect, inattention, simple misunderstandings or component failure. They will often bring to the fore the very contingency we should have planned for and didn't. When the retrograde phase occurs, watch out for such possibilities as well as putting off major decision-making or the signing of crucial documents and agreements. We tend to miss things while Mercury is in reverse motion and then have to come back and do them again. A process of review in the retrograde phase can efficiently show where problems might lie and help us with damage control or the mending of things. Double check arrangements at these times! What you think you've said and what others have understood will often prove to be two different things.

Mercury's first retrograde phase begins in Pisces on Feb 14th. Review joint financial arrangements or obligations. There may be confusion over spending or just overspending. Get communications working! Make sure you understand what others are saying and what they expect with money or payment. There will be unexpected developments or a surprise turn of events with money. Stay flexible. Think on your feet. Keep lines of communication open. There may be confusion or change with a point of contact or an institution you've been dealing with over finance. Time and patience will sort things. Lack of clarity could be a sore point. Mercury moves back to Aquarius on Feb 27th then forward again on Mar 8th.

Mercury's second retrograde phase begins in Cancer on Jun 15th. With Mercury in your solar twelfth house, you may wish to step back, standing at a distance from the hustle and bustle. There may be confusion or a misunderstanding in communications. You may have something on your mind and wish to think it over. Be careful, listening to the advice of others. It may not be what you need to hear. You may wish to concentrate on creative endeavours or your inner or spiritual life. There may be something from the past you need to reflect upon. Family or domestic concerns may be prominent. You may not be ready to speak up about a problem or concern. Take your time. Mercury moves forward on Jul 10th.

Mercury's final retrograde phase is in Scorpio, starting on Oct 12th. Domestic or family matters will feature. There may be confusion or difficulty with someone close. This may be a health concern or there may be misunderstanding or tension to be resolved. There will be problems with communication, appliances or people at home. Watch safety with power. There may be testing talk over money or confusion about who was supposed to pay for what. Take a review of domestic matters, both personal and practical. Cooperation is the best solution. Mercury returns to Libra on Oct 24th then moves forward on Nov 1st.

Lady Moon

Your Full Moon comes on Feb 2nd. Expansion, investment, romance and plain luck are favoured by the influences here. A new scheme, relationship or adventure could come to light. You might just be feeling good. There could be stimulating social activities or even something to celebrate. Relationships are favoured. Enjoy time with someone special. If you're single, take a risk with someone new. Enjoy favourite activities and tasty foods with people you love.

Your New Moon comes Aug 12th. There may be something to negotiate with someone close. You may have much to talk about with a partner or close associate. You may need to go over old ground or deal with a past situation. Someone older or in authority may be involved. Verbal communication is important and you'll need to set a clarifying pattern that will create a new dynamic or perspective for an old situation or a persistent problem. You may have to make a new start in an old position.

Eclipses

Eclipses of both the Sun and the Moon often indicate the end of a cycle or a significant change in the direction or pattern of the affairs governed by the house in which the eclipse falls. Eclipses of the Sun may affect work, direction and relations with people in authority. Eclipses of the Moon may affect matters of home, family and emotions as well as relations with women and children. Both may affect your health.

The Full Moon in Virgo on Mar 3rd brings a Lunar Eclipse. Domestic or personal monies may be in for a hitch or a glitch. You may have to review personal spending as something has changed. You may not be able to go ahead with a purchase or an expense. There will be a shift in income or outgoings. A domestic expense may catch you out. Someone you regularly deal with over basic financial concerns may depart the picture. You may have to eat into savings or other designated monies to solve a problem.

The Full Moon in Pisces on Aug 28th brings a Lunar Eclipse. There may be a change or an end with financial obligations or joint arrangements. Someone you've been dealing with over financial concerns may depart or move out of your circle of operations. There may be a hitch or a glitch with credit or overdraft arrangements. Make sure that you don't inflict it on yourself. There may be an interruption or a change with the erotic side of relationships. If you've been in a secret liaison, it may come to an end.

The New Moon in Virgo on Sep 11th brings a Solar Eclipse. An interruption or change may affect your income or primary or personal resources. There may be an enforced shift with spending or money management. Keep savings in place prior to this period. You may need more than is planned for in the budget. You may change or have to change financial institutions or advisers. There may be an end to an expense or an outgoing.

Courtesy of http://www.astrologycom.com/annual.html